Tribute to "Braveheart"

In response to my first post regarding the Delhi Gangrape, a friend of mine, Meenal Sarda, wrote to me regarding how initially she also felt the same but her feelings changed when she read in the newspapers that she had written to her mother that she wants to live.

I must confess that even my heart broke when I read about her death. My heart goes out to her and her family and I pray to God to give them peace and solace.

I would like to reproduce here what my friend had written to me. I find it very beautiful and very expressive. Hope all my friends like what she had written to me. Thanks Meenal for such an inspiring mail.

When I first read the news about the gangrape and comprehended, with shock and horror, what the girl had been subjected to, my reaction was similar. I thought- how can this girl now live, without intestines and on intravenous fluids all her life. Somewhere, I also silently prayed that God would relieve her of the constant suffering and pain and let her rest in peace.


But then I read in the newspaper that she wrote a note to her mother - I want to live. And that changed my perspective. Who would know better than that girl the pain that she would have to undergo, the condition in which she would be everyday, the challenges that she would have to face for the rest of her life? And yet she wanted to live. If that was the case, things would have worked out somehow, maybe a transplant, maybe artificial support would have made her life easier. It doesn't matter how, but if she wanted to live, she should live. And so I kept hoping against hope that somehow, she would survive. I find it all the more heartbreaking now that her wish was not fulfilled, that though her spirit was very strong and was fighting till the very end, her body gave up....

I agree with many things that are being demanded by the protestors- capital punishment for rapists (this being a rarest of rare case), stricter laws, fast track courts etc. This is definitely a law and order issue- if there is no deterrant for a rapist, what will stop him or someone else from raping again.

But more than all of this, it is very much a social issue. It is the deeply imbedded attitude of society against women that is at the root of all this. One of the most disturbing facts I found about the incident is the testimony of one of the accused, who said that they wanted to 'teach her a lesson' for speaking up against the men to protect her friend. Men, no matter what education, profession etc, feel it is their birth right to teach lessons to women. Society, at large, wants to control everything about women and girls- how women dress, how they eat, what they can and cannot do, where they can go or not, when they get married, when they have kids etc etc. Rape is also about control and power. It is about showing who is the one with power.

Another disturbing aspect is the issue of 'honour'. I have never understood why women are the custodians of the family honour- maybe this is another way of restricting their movements and keeping checks on them. When a woman is raped, she is 'dishonoured', her family loses its honour. Why? Should it not be the man who should be dishonoured and his family who should be hanging their heads in shame?

It also gets assumed that somehow the woman must be at fault, she must have done something to deserve this. As for the man, it is never his fault. 'Men will be men'.

Ads, films, TV serials, songs- all these propagate these norms and contribute towards the problem. But that is the subject of another long write-up.

The only positive in the entire incident is the fact that people have taken up the cause and are demanding justice in a united way. Ofcourse, there are people with political affiliations that join the crowds and try to create trouble. But these are far outnumbered by peaceful protestors and people who are there simply because they want things to change.

And no matter how long it takes or how difficult the challenges, change they must.