Nishtha's movie review: Queen

I happened to catch up on the movie "Queen" this weekend. Before the movie had released, I had very low expectations from the film. In fact, considering that I never really liked Kangana Ranaut and add to it the tackiest name imaginable for a movie, I had expected the movie to be a badly made and / or a sleazy kind of a movie. But kudos to director Vikas Bahl, because Queen is anything but that.

Like I mentioned, I had very low expectations from the movie and I had gone only after hearing / reading fabulous film reviews and word-of-mouth appreciation. And I really liked the movie. It is not a grand affair, so you will not get to see any designer clothes, eloquent sets, professional dancers, and starry big actors. This is a low-budget movie set and shot in by-lanes of Delhi, then Paris and then Amsterdam. But, don't be fooled by hearing about Paris and Amsterdam. Like I mentioned, it has been shot in it's by-lanes. So, you will not get to see the grandeur of these cities, but you will get the feel of how middle class people live and tour in small hotels / student hostels etc. which forms the crux of the movie where the character played by Kangana Ranaut learns to cope all by herself. The film belongs to her and she carries it with flair on her petite shoulders.

Overall, I liked the film for following reasons:

1.       Great Performances. There are no over the top performances. The acting is top-notch, natural and effortless by all actors be it Indian or foreigner; one with the lead role or supporting role. Although Lisa Hayden also excels in her small role, but Kangana is the soul of the film. She brings Rani alive and symbolises hundreds of Indian girls belonging to and brought up in the protective shell called the Indian Joint family. Rajkummar Rao as Vijay is also a natural. He could be any boy next door who woos a girl, proposes to her and then develops cold feet at the time of marriage. He could be any male child brought up in a male patriarch system who think of himself as modern and liberal without even realising that domination, in whichever degree and form, comes naturally to him and is in-built in his nature. Again, truly symbolising the hundreds of males in the Indian society who propagate women's rights but when it comes to their homes, they expect their wives to simply abide by their wishes at all times and conduct themselves in the way they wish.

2.       The plot. Like I said above, the plot is very simple and director Vikas Bahl doesn't let the focus shift from the progression the lead protagonist is going through. Although he shoots in two of the most sought after tourist destinations including Paris, known as one of the prettiest and most romantic cities in the world, he refrains from using camera-time to capture scenic beauty or sights and sounds of the cities and instead focusses on the narrow lanes and sidewalks more likely to be where a coy homely girl from Delhi, a clear misfit in the city inhabited by heavily made-up and outgoing womenfolk, would like to get lost away from the crowds and limelight. The music is also apt for the film. While 'London thumakda' is a peppy number sure to be replayed in all weddings at least for the next year, the songs 'Gujariya' and the revamped 'Hungama ho gaya' are very situational and yet very pleasing to the ears.

3.       Coming of age film. We have seen coming of age films earlier. Be it Lakshya or Wake Up Sid or even Dil Chahta Hai, Rock On! and Zindagi naa milegi dobara. We all loved these movies. They are all movies that show their protagonists "growing up" and becoming mature responsible people. But the other thing that is common between these movies is that they are all movies about boys / men. Not a single coming of age movie comes to my mind which has female protagonist(s). There have been attempts before where the movies have shown coy women tackling difficult situations and coming on top, but they have all ended up as feminist movies showing empowerment of women instead of the simple coming of age movies (e.g. Khoon bhari maang, Shakti, Anjaam, etc.). So this movie is a refreshing change.

4.       No clichés. This film avoids clichés, which is nice. So, it doesn't show that the bridegroom-to-be falls for a 'gori mem' or some other modern girl and that is why leaves our coy homely girl. He simply develops cold feet which is still seemingly believable in the movie. Then, there is no sudden realisation on the girl that she needs to change and she doesn't just simply gets a make-over and becomes fiercely independent. The transformation is gradual. There is a heartbreak but she slowly learns to live with it. She slowly realises that her life is not just about being married to that guy and becoming a housewife. Having said that, another cliché that this movie avoids is showing the coy girl transformed into an independent women as having a drastic change in lifestyle. I like the fact that this film doesn't show that an independent woman and a woman who parties hard, drinks, smokes and has sex at the drop of a hat are synonymous. It doesn't promote that independence means doing all that because independence is actually a state of mind. It doesn't say that you come of age when you start doing all that. The day you start understanding that you are capable of taking your own decisions, deciding for yourself what you want to do with your life, stop relying of others for your individual choices and basically stop judging everyone because of their individual choices; you come of age; you become independent.

5.       The message. The message is the highlight of the film. It is not just for the womenfolk but also for the men. The film gives the message that you should not be dependent on others for your happiness. Your happiness is actually in your hands and it is basically a choice that you have to make for yourself. How true.

So, I would highly recommend this movie to everyone to watch at least once. I hope you take the happiness with you when you walk out of the movie hall.

Every child is gifted...

Today is the time of cut-throat competition. We see people at work-places trying to be one-up that their colleagues at all times. However, I feel that people don't try to be as competitive in the workplace as they are in their parenting. It's a rat-race out there actually and everyone is trying to prove to an invisible someone that they are the best parent in the world. No-one is immune and somewhere or the other in varied degrees we are all in the same boat including me.

In fact, success at work even gives more gas to this phenomenon. This may probably be for the following reasons: (1) Working parents try to overcome their guilt conscience by demonstrating that they are actually working so hard and being so career minded so that they can bring up their children better, provide them with better facilities and give them all that they ask for. They want their kids to be the most accomplished of the lot. (Whenever I hear the term 'accomplished', I am reminded of the 18th century writings by Jane Austen whereby the women who drew, knitted, read books, played the piano and did 2 or 3 other things were considered highly accomplished.) (2) People have found a new way to show-off their "improved standard of living" when they brag about their kids going to high-end costly schools and 3-4 extra-curricular activities outside school hours. They want to tell the world, "listen... I can afford to give my kids this luxury." They hear other parents talk about their kids learning contemporary dance and tennis and swimming; then how could their child be far behind?

In the end, we are all moulding our kids in 1 generic pre-defined mould without giving them the space to grow on their own and the way they want. We compare the kids with their peers. We tell them that your so-and-so classmate can draw so beautifully, why don't you practice a little more. "Look at him, how well she writes. You need to brush up your creative writing skills. Let me see if there are some classes available." And it goes on and on. We all want our kids to be exemplary orators, comfortable and confident on stage and beyond. We want them to be best calligraphers and great thinkers all of them the next Salman Rushdie or Arundhati Roy in the making. We want them all excelling in dramatics, dance, instrumental music, martial arts, sports, and this and that and everything. We ourselves are not able to decide what we want our kids to be and we certainly do not give our kids the leverage to decide for themselves what they want to do and what they do not want to do. We talk about peer pressure on kids when we hear our kids say "Mom, my friend is learning this and I also want to do it." But, we forget that we only have developed this psychology in our kids where they look around and see others by comparing our kids to others.

What we don't focus on is that every child has his or her capabilities. And why only capabilities? They all have their own interests. A child may be really good at sports but his/her interest may lie in literature. But, then we will tell them, "no, sports is very important and you should focus there instead of reading these stupid fiction". Traditionally also, people have always forced kids to study and get good grades trying to fill in their minds with fears like "not everyone can become a Sachin Tendulkar. A cricket team has only 11 players and all the rest find it difficult to run their homes if they opt for sports over studies. So, focus on studies and make a decent career as a doctor, engineer or an accountant." We focus on what is a better option by looking at what pays and not what the child wants. And since every parent is thinking like that, it becomes a herd mentality and everyone starts focussing on the same stuff. The stuff that brings bucks.

We forget that any person will thrive and bloom best in something that they enjoy doing and not in something that gets them more money. The thrill of getting a fat pay cheque in your account is short-lived but the daily excitement and enthusiasm of doing something that you love doing is priceless and forever. Shouldn't we let our kids enjoy the sunshine and try every experience that they want to. Let them choose what they want to do and encourage and nurture their interests widely. How does it matter if the neighbour's daughter is learning salsa as well as instrumental music? If my daughter just wants to take her cycle out in the garden in the evenings and that gives her happiness, why should we insist in taking up an activity. If my son doesn't enjoy colouring and drawing, why should I insist in him practicing more just because he got a grade lower than most kids in his class. Maybe he got a good grade in another subject which another child might not enjoy as much. Or even if my child did not get a top grade in any activity, does that mean that my child is not capable of anything? Why should grades and levels decide a child's capability?

I look back at my life and I notice that I wasn't a top student in junior school. I struggled with Maths and languages. But later, I became a top scorer in both with almost 100% scores in Maths. Later in life, say in high school, I developed a flair for art and writing. I was good at painting and wrote good poetry and small articles. But, over the years, again my interests changed again and I took on to reading and blogging. Similarly, I believe every child has interests which are developed later and / or which keep changing. Let me call them their gifts which they are lying there untouched. They reach out to them when they feel like and then they cannot be prevented from opening it.

So, to conclude, we as parents need not fret over what our kids are not doing but other kids are doing and we should always remember that: Every child is gifted. They just unwrap their packages at different times.