The people are judgemental all the time!

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People are judgemental. People are judgemental all the time. People are judgemental for no reason at all. What does being judgemental mean? As per the Oxford Dictionary, judgemental means "having or displaying an overly critical point of view." It was beautifully expressed in the movie English Vinglish. (Watch here) 

I have vast experience of having people judge me. I am a divorced woman and a single mother. I have had people who hardly know me call me out as a frustrated, unhappily divorced woman. Add to it the fact that I am by profession an Internal Auditor, whose job is to tell people what they are doing wrong, and who generally happens to be the most hated person (department) in a company; the opinionated comments become all the more free-flowing. The moment you disagree with someone at work for anything, no matter howsoever trivial; the moment you give any kind of a hard time to anybody at work; the first reaction is, “What the hell? Apni life ki frustration hum pe kyun utaar rahi hai?" People just tend to assume that you are divorced, so you are living a miserable and a traumatic life and you vent out all your misery on others. It is just so difficult for people to understand that a divorced woman can also have a happy and content life. But that is exactly how our society works. The people are judgemental all the time.

A colleague of mine is well into her late 40s and is still unmarried, definitely by choice. She has this towering persona with a loud booming voice and the confidence to never mince words. She is a strong, independent woman who hadn't learnt to be subservient. So, people just tend to assume that she is unmarried because no guy would marry a loudmouthed, over-the-top, overtly bold woman. It is so difficult for people to understand that an unmarried woman can choose not to settle for just about anyone, unless that person actually tugs at her heartstrings and matches her frequency. But that is exactly how our society works. The people are judgemental all the time.

Then there was this smart, good-looking woman in my previous company who got along very well with her boss. She had risen the ranks in the company very fast. Now, I didn't know her personally but I had seen her make a few presentations. They were really awesome and I always admired how she handled the audience questions. If anyone could see, they would realize that she knew her subject matter inside out. But nobody saw that. All they saw was a beautiful woman, friendly with her boss, who rose ranks very fast. They wouldn't mince words in dismissing her success to "some services she provided to her boss outside the office." It is so difficult for people to accept that a woman can rise professionally due to her capabilities and professionalism. But that is exactly how our society works. The people are judgemental all the time.

I know someone who became a widow at a very young age. She had always been a very soft-spoken, demure, homely woman who never raised her voice, not even in front of a very dominating mother-in-law. Her parents-in-law blamed her for their fate and a lost son. They were as mean as they could be, insulting her at the word go. They assumed she was weak and at their mercy, so they could do with her as they pleased. They all said that her life was finished - with two teenage sons to raise, she was bound to become dependent on mercies of her matrimonial family. Nobody expected her to stand on her feet after having been a home-maker all her life. But she chose not to let her sons' fate be dictated by anyone. She chose to start her own enterprise and raise her sons the way she wanted. They went on to study abroad with the funds she earned on her own, not being indebted to anything but a mother's love. It is so difficult for people to picture a woman stand on her own feet after having lived in a man's shadow for a while. But that is exactly how our society works. The people are judgemental all the time.

The sad part is not that this is exactly how our society works. The sad part is not that people are judgemental all the time. The sad part is that the society works like this only in case of women. The sad part is that people are judgemental all the time when it comes to women. The sad part is even women do not come forth and support other women. The sad part is that even women undermine and pull down other women.