Sisterly fun!

I am feeling nostalgic today. I am wearing a set of glass bangles which remind me of a story. It is the story about how three girls on their own got things done one fine day. When my sister completed her MBBS, she decided that she would like to complete her internship from Gurgaon. I went ahead and checked with the concerned hospital whether it is possible and they said that it is possible and you just need to get a signed letter from the authorities. So far it seemed very simple, but when she actually landed in Gurgaon about three days before she was scheduled to start her internship, we realized that the concerned authorities who were supposed to issue the letter were actually based out of Panchkula and not Gurgaon. Not only that, the hospital would not accept her without the letter presented on the first day itself and even a single day’s delay in starting the internship would mean she would not be eligible to get her degree in the current year and would effectively end up wasting 1 full year. With no time to waste, I put a leave request on mail in the evening and got on a night bus to Chandigarh along with my two sisters. We were at the entrance of the office at 6:30 a.m. and reading the business hours mentioned at the gate which started at 9:30 a.m. My sister was so tensed that she outrightly refused to have any breakfast and so the three of us sat there on the pavement hungry and just sharing silly jokes to keep our spirit alive. By 9:00 a.m. there were 2-3 more people waiting outside the gate who had come for the same reasons.

When we got talking to a man who was our father’s age, he told us that he was a doctor from Ambala and was there to get the same letter for his son. He also smirked when we told him we were there for the same reason and when asked why he said that they do not issue the letter easily and that it was his fourth trip to Panchkula to get that letter. My sister was on the verge of tears after hearing that when the two of us consoled her that we will not leave without the letter. We did not expect then that it would practically come down to exactly that scenario but it did.

We went from one desk to another, one door to another and even one floor to another. We skipped lunch as well and tricked the not-in-office big boss’ PA to pass on his number. We called him and pleaded him to come to office and sign the form (which I must appreciate that he did) and then split with each other to get the other work done. Eventually when just the stamping of the letter was pending, the person concerned simply vanished from his seat. It was already 4:00 p.m. by then and we had waited for half an hour when that doctor from Ambala came to me and asked whether our task was done. I smiled and said that just the stamp is pending and he laughed and told us that it is the stamp only for which he is coming since his last three trips. We had a train back at 6:30 p.m. and my sister was as anxious as she could be. Me and my other sister looked at her and then to her shocking glares, we simply raised hell. We went to his boss’ office and told him that his subordinate is missing from his seat since half an hour and that we need the stamp on the letter. We outrightly told him that we have a train in an hour’s time but we are not leaving without the stamped letter. We said that we have not booked into a hotel and are prepared to sit outside the office and let everyone know what happened if our sister’s whole year is wasted due to a stupid stamp. By now, we had attracted enough attention that his boss almost panicked and sent someone to look for the concerned person. Turned out that he was hiding in the men’s wash-room simply because he did not want us to get the letter in the first attempt. He was called to his seat by his boss and we just banged our file and letter in front of him. He stamped it. Then we took the file from the doctor uncle’s hand and we put it down in front of him and we asked him to stamp that as well, which he did. As we walked out of the office with my sister smiling ear to ear and the letter in her hand, the doctor uncle thanked us.

Half an hour later we were in the Sector 17 Chandigarh market where we filled up our starving bowels and also shopped for a few nitty-gritties including these set of bangles. Oh! What a day it was. And whenever me and my sisters sit down to gossip we remember it for all the fun, bonding and teamwork.

The ongoing Jasleen Kaur and Sarvjeet Singh Debate

For those active on the social media in India, Jasleen Kaur and Sarvjeet Singh debate doesn't need any introduction. For the uninitiated though, the issue is as follows: Jasleen Kaur, a supposed activist of the AAP Youth wing, posted on Facebook the picture of a person – who later turned out to be a normal Delhi citizen Sarvjeet Singh – along with a text calling him a ‘pervert’ and saying that he misbehaved with her and bad-mouthed her at a traffic light. The post went viral and many people – including me and Sonakshi Sinha (without implying that we both stand in the same league) – shared it across. The person was hailed as a ‘molester’ and even a potential rapist. Two days later, the guy was traced and arrested by police on the basis of the Facebook post. Allegedly, he ended up not only spending a couple of nights behind bars but also losing his job. Out on bail, he shared an emotional reply on Jasleen’s post stating that he had not misbehaved with her and on the contrary Jasleen had misbehaved with him and bad-mouthed him. All of a sudden, a couple of witnesses also surfaced supporting Sarvjeet’s claim and suddenly Jasleen’s affiliation to AAP being highlighted by the media turned all of this into a so-called political publicity stunt for her. Meanwhile, AAP supremo and Delhi CM had even announced an award of Rs. 5,000/- for Jasleen for her so called ‘act of bravery’ and for showing the courage to report an incident of molestation and ‘crime against women’.

These are the facts which I have tried my best to state without taking any sides. In fact, I have decided not to take any sides in this matter even though I had first made the mistake of sharing Jasleen’s post initially. But, I have since removed that post from my Facebook; and all such subsequent posts as well after realizing my mistake. Let me be expressly clear on what I mean when I say ‘my mistake’. I refer it to mean me sharing Jasleen’s post without any idea or proof of it being true and without any corroboration. I do not refer it to mean me sharing Jasleen’s post which eventually turned out to be a false claim. I want to be very clear and maintain that I do not know who is saying the truth and who is not and I do not even have the means to find out, so, I remain neutral until the truth comes out.

Now, having clarified my stand, I would like to note down a few questions and concerns that have been going on in my head from the incident.

1. Amidst all the chaos that happened over the issue one thing which got pretty clear was that after the incident, people have started doubting the legitimacy of eve-teasing cases, especially the ones that go viral on social media. Even I can’t help think now in each and every case that this is a one-sided story and I don’t know what the other side has to say. It is not a very positive shift in mentality because as such very few cases of eve-teasing and sexual harassment are filed by girls. Now, even fewer people will come out in support of the girls who have suffered molestation on city streets. Will this not strengthen the already existing social stigma against reporting crime against women?
2. What is it with the Delhi government awarding her with a cash prize of Rs. 5,000/-? No, I’m not commenting on the amount. Any cash prize has relative importance depending on what it was awarded for and how much value the recipient attaches to it. My concern is with respect to the intent of the award. Jasleen had not taken a legal route yet. She had posted the incident details on Facebook alright. But even if we assume for a minute that her claims are right and genuine, I personally do not think that it counts as courage to report the incident. In fact, as per me, it does not even count as reporting the incident as reporting the incident would have been had she lodged an FIR against the alleged molester, which she never did. What courage then?
3. Also, that brings me to the legal system and the police functioning in India. In Delhi (and so I assume that in India althogether), a domestic violence case or a dowry harassment case cannot legally be lodged in the Police Station directly. It has to be routed through the Crime against Women’s Cell where they ‘counsel’ you and the alleged wrong-doers for at least 3 months (of course there’s no upper limit to the timeline). An FIR usually is filed only after the CAWC sends a report to the DCP saying that it is a fit case for an FIR and the DCP approves filing of the FIR. Which mean that it could be months and even years before a domestic violence or a dowry harassment case even reaches a police station. But, it took the police just two days to arrest an alleged eve teaser on the basis of a viral Facebook post and they did not even wait for an official police complaint to be filed. What an irony? Why is it that our police functions only when something gets highlighted in the public either via social media or via print and TV media?
4. When it comes to the common man, everyone is sympathetic as seen in the given case of Jasleen Kaur where everyone supported her initially. However, as soon as the news of her political association with AAP came into knowledge, people’s entire perspective changed. All of a sudden, everyone started claiming that she is doing this to establish her political agenda, especially in the light of upcoming DUSU elections. People even said that this is a ploy by AAP to establish her as a face on women empowerment within their student followers. Does this not show how much do we trust the system and how gullible people are? 
5. One interesting thing that happened was the rise of eye-witnesses immediately after Sarvjeet’s arrest. They all supported and supposedly corroborated Sarvjeet’s version of the story. Also suddenly CCTV footage also surfaced trying to prove Jasleen a liar by showing her monitoring traffic. How long was the footage? A few seconds and it did not even show the war of words between Jasleen and Sarvjeet. They all were simply trying to prove that Jasleen was lying. Maybe she was and maybe she wasn’t, I don’t know. But, I often wonder why do we never have such eye-witnesses and CCTV footages in real genuine cases. Why did none of the people who saw Nirbhaya and her friend lying stripped and wounded on the road for 45 minutes ever show up to give witness? Why did nobody spoke for the girl who was stripped naked by a bunch of boys in full public view in Kolkata and her video was shot and uploaded on the internet? Why did nobody in the crowd come out when a mob simply went crazy on a new year’s night and stripped naked a girl simply out of new year frenzy in Mumbai? Why is it that when it is time to support a girl against a wrong nobody speaks up and people come forward to support a guy when he is allegedly the wronged party?
6. I was actually surprised how quickly the tides turned in favour of Sarvjeet what with everyone suddenly becoming concerned that the girls are using social media to malign just about any innocent guy. He was immediately declared innocent without even the matter going to the court. I admit Jasleen’s modus operandi was wrong even if she does genuinely believe herself to be a wronged party. But, are we the people not doing the same mistake again by openly now supporting Sarvjeet against Jasleen? If we did not corroborate Jasleen’s claims, have we corroborated Sarvjeet’s claims before openly supporting him? Also, if Sarvjeet’s claims are true and he has all those witnesses and CCTV footages, why is he asking for sympathy and support from the social media? Why doesn’t he simply file a defamation case against Jasleen? Why are the people not questioning him on that? For all I know, unless the court decides who was right and who actually misbehaved basis all evidences, we cannot ourselves pass any judgements basis rudimentary evidences available on the internet. Are we even qualified to form conclusions from that?
7. And, finally, the one thing that pinched me the most in this episode was how people not only bullied Jasleen after the tide turned but also all the people, mostly ladies, who had supported Jasleen and shared her post. Sonakshi Sinha came out with a public apology after being booed on Facebook and Twitter, mostly just to put an end to the tirade. And I can understand that since I went through the same. A few ‘friends’ of mine on Facebook started tagging me to every story supporting Sarvjeet and condemning Jasleen. I usually do not entertain tags, even on photos where I am actually there. But I still accommodated and accepted the tags and let them show on my timeline just so that the friend who tagged me appreciates that I have accepted my mistake and am open to his views. But these were then also accompanied with comments directly aimed at me ‘always’ supporting women and never speaking in favour of men. Personally, I always try to be fair though I do often tend to speak for the women but I have always maintained that I am not against all men but only those who do consider women as second-grade human beings and which are maybe quite a few in number. But how many times do you explain this to someone who is just not ready to understand? So, just as the comments continued, so did the tagging. After the first, and then the second and then the third, it actually started getting on my nerves. And I started rejecting tags and even deleted all articles I had previously allowed on my timeline along with the comments. Good that the taggers took the hint but seriously, for had this continued for a day more, I had already made up my mind to ‘unfriend’ and even ‘block’ the people who consider it their right to bully others on social media just because they have a different opinion and point of view than theirs.