Stay Strong Ukraine!!

Vladimir Putin claims, "The purpose of this operation is to protect people who, for eight years now, have been facing humiliation and genocide perpetrated by the Kyiv regime.” 

As an Indian who can barely keep up with politics in India, I had never even heard of Volodymyr Zelenskyy until the war broke out. I knew Putin's reputation of being a hard task master. I had also seen how the Russians patronise him when I travelled to Russia in 2019. Yet, I can barely believe this statement. Ask me why? 

I do not believe this statement because I see on TV, civilians fighting, mounting Russian tanks and standing defiantly unarmed in front of trained and armed forces. I see people leaving behind their homes and families, children, not to take shelter but to pick up arms. I see pictures of a 79-year old lady learning to fire a gun. I see pictures of a very young girl with perfectly manicured nails in 5 different shades of neon holding the gun, ready to fight. That's not a sign of suppressed and tortured citizens. That's a sign of proud patriotic citizens, who had dreams and lives, which they have put on hold to defend their country from a maniac.

The trolls may tout Zelenskyy as a comedian or a TV President, but his one call has made these citizens pick up arms and fight to defend their country in a war where they are severely outnumbered and heading towards a certain defeat. They did that because he refused to quit on them and stood with them in the middle of the war. They did that because he declined the offer of evacuation for him and his family with his now famous words, "I need ammunition, not a ride." He is letting people send their loved ones across borders in camps, but chose to stay back with his family and children. If that's not the sign of a leader, I don't know what is. 

Take a bow Volodymyr Zelenskyy! Take a bow Ukraine! Take a bow all the braveheart citizens of this proud country! You have managed to keep the Russians at bay so long and you continue to persevere. Stay strong! Stay proud!! Stay invincible!!!

#respect

#staystrongukrain

#8daysandstillholdingon

Images source: Google search

What happens behind closed doors is not always known: Criminal Justice Season 2 Review

I will start the review with my verdict first. This is one of the best Hindi series I have seen off late. 

The plot is simple – a housewife, Kriti Kulhari, stabs her publicly well-known, widely admired, and socially acknowledged as perfect husband, Jishu Sengupta, with her 12-year-old daughter as the only witness. She confesses to the crime immediately and sticks to it. But other than that, she maintains a stoic silence as to why she did it. What seems like an open and shut case otherwise, owing to the confession by the wife, lacks the basic element in a murder case: motive. It is only when state lawyers, Pankaj Tripathi and Anupriya Goenka reprising their roles from Season 1, start chipping away at the motive of murder that hidden facets start emerging. Despite their uncooperative client, the two keep on trying to understand why she did it.

The motive is basically the premise of the story, though there are a few twists and turns such as the primary protagonist’s pregnancy. The motive is not exactly suspenseful unlike many thrillers where the audience already knows the facts of the crime. But, it is a moot discussion point, that is slowly highlighted to impress upon the social relevance of the issue in today’s date and time.

The series talks about abuse. Domestic abuse which is not always visible outside the bedroom; one that thrives on manipulation and narcissism; one that is made to appear like care and love but is actually a disguise for control over the other person; and one which plays with your mind filling you with guilt, self-doubt and depression. The climax highlights that abuse is often invisible to the eye and abusers are usually normal people who may be good friends, good sons and good fathers but may not be good spouses. Moreover, the show highlights how marital rape is made insignificant by the society so much so that the victim feels ashamed talking about it. It’s a glaring reality of the society where even professional and powerful women fall prey to misogyny within the confines of their homes.

Image: Google Search

I have not yet seen the Season 1 of the series and since this is an altogether new case, it doesn’t matter. I do plan to see it now. The characters of Pankaj Tripathi and Anupriya Goenka are flowing over from the Season 1. Pankaj Tripathi is as expected a delight to watch. His timing, dialogue delivery and simplicity brings alive every scene he features in. His character, who is a newly-wed person in this season with an outspoken wife, turns out to be a perfect example of how even the most socially enlightened men stand up for feminism but forget to apply the same concepts in their own lives. He eventually learns to respect the feelings of his partner. Anupriya Goenka fits her role well. I had first noticed her in War and despite a few appearances after that, I feel she gets to showcase her nuanced performance in this series. All other actors are also well cast and adequate, Deepti Naval, Mita Vashishta, Ashish Vidyarthi, et al. But this season definitely belongs to Kriti Kulhari. She plays the murder accused with utmost restraint; a woman who is more concerned about hiding her personal ‘shame’ rather than the repercussions of her crime. Bare minimum dialogues, she speaks with her eyes and bravely holds the series on her seemingly frail, drooping shoulders.

Sorry, but Ravan was a sexual predator!

Every time around Dussehra, it has become a routine since last few years now. There are social media posts about how what Ravan did to Sita was not "as offensive as it is deemed to be". Many of these posts are forwarded messages with anonymous authors and I will not get into the discussion about who is spreading them (honestly, I know where that discussion would go). But basically many ladies of the current generation are also sharing these same messages and talking about it. And that's where my main concern is that how can a woman be okay with what Ravan did to Sita. 

Ravi Verma's Ravana Sita and Jatayu

The messages say how Ravan really gave Sita more respect as compared to Ram. He never touched her without her consent and on the other hand Ram made her go through Agni pariksha to prove her "purity". Maybe it's just a fad or a supposed demonstration of how intellectual, liberal thinking you are that you are questioning your own scriptures and rituals, or maybe your ideas of Feminism include putting down Ram for questioning his wife's purity by showing his arch enemy as a better human being than him; but even in modern day and context, Ravan's actions are totally unpardonable. 

I myself have often questioned about many of Ram's actions and the way he and others treated Sita and ladies in general and have openly expressed how the scriptures are not in alignment with the ideas of feminism. So, I guess that should prove that I am not saying and writing this just because I am a Hindu and I-will-support-my-Hindu-scriptures-to-death kind of syndrome. 

However, preaching greatness of Ravan because of how he "treated Sita with respect and didn't touch her without her wishes" is totally out of tune with the ideas of feminism and of basic humanity even. That's incomplete knowledge of the scripture too. The scripture explains how Ravan had once raped an "Apsara" and had been given a curse that if he ever touched another woman without her consent, his head will blow up. He did not touch Sita because he feared for his life. Rest, he did everything unacceptable and he tortured her to coerce her in many ways. The female guards ensured Sita was bound to a place and were always taunting and mentally harassing her. She was put in a garden and her movement were restrained. She was pressurised every single day to give in and marry him (symbolic of consent). 

Please put yourself in Sita's shoes and think whether in that situation day after day, you will feel respected or humiliated and abused. Kidnapped, kept isolated, locked (in a garden but still contained) and constantly being pressurised to marry someone she did not want to marry. How is that the idea of treating someone with respect? The people who think so need to understand that this is just another way of saying "boys will be boys... He liked her so he did all that stuff but hey, he didn't rape her, did he?" 

Maybe the whole narrative is about changing the perspective about questioning Ram for asking Sita to prove her purity but then the same cannot be highlighted by justifying the acts of Ravan. Both acts were questionable and Ravan's acts deserved punishment too. The posts always mention that Ravan was such a learned man and yet all his wisdom and knowledge did not serve any useful purpose when it came to Sita.

#BasItniSiBaat – Thappad Movie Review and Why You Need To See This Movie

Last evening, I and my family saw the movie Thappad. Although, there has been a consistent flow of good movies off late, but I would say that Thappad is one of the finest ones which have come out recently. 

Image courtesy: Google Search / Pinterest

Let’s first get the cliched movie review out of the way so that I can come to what I actually want to say about the movie here. The movie was very relatable as the characters were very normal, flawed and much like people we come across everyday of our lives. The situations and set-ups were all common middle-class people related in any metro city. Tapsee Pannu was brilliant as an educated modern day “housewife-by-choice” and debutant Pavail Gulati as her career-obsessed professional husband was a total natural. Neither of these characters were easy to play and could have easily become stereotypes (positive and negative) but hats off to the director who reins in their brilliant performances without letting the drama become over the top. All supporting characters are acknowledged good actors and they all played their parts perfectly. I especially loved Kumud Mishra’s character as a very supportive father. There are no uncomfortable fights or nasty court battles depicted between the lead couple so even young couples can see the movie together without feeling awkward. Overall the movie holds your attention throughout the two and a half hours runtime despite not being very fast paced. Tears and choking are not ruled out especially when you can relate to the characters at a personal level, which I am sure many people would be able to do, especially women and I hope many men. 

The movie is a must watch but for more reasons than the brilliant performances that I have mentioned above. This actually brings me to what I really want to say about the movie and why I feel everyone – both women and men and even couples together preferably – should see the movie. As per me, the movie subtly and brilliantly highlights the following issues in the society nowadays (in case you don’t want spoilers ahead, please restrict yourself to the titles and feel free to come back and read the list below again after you have watched the movie): 

1. Even one thoughtless act of aggression is Domestic Violence – This needs no explanation as this is what the whole movie is about. Even if you have just watched the trailer, you would know that this is what the movie talks about. Vikram hits his wife Ammu only once, in a fit of rage directed towards someone else and not Ammu. This makes her question her own self-worth and the respect that she is given in the relationship. This is exactly why all the people who had watched Kabir Singh should watch Thappad now to understand why Kabir Singh as a movie was problematic. There is even a direct scathing attack in this movie about Kabir Singh. Vikram’s side-kick says in the movie that if you really love someone “toh thodi bahut maar-peet toh hoti hai, uske bina pyar ka kya matlab hai?” which is exactly what the director of Kabir Singh, Sandeep Reddy Vanga, had said in order to justify the male protagonist’s violent behaviour towards the female protagonist. Even legally, even one single act of aggression whatever the cause and rather even mental torture is counted as Domestic Violence. This aspect is beautifully explained in this movie. It’s just one slap but “nahin maar sakta”.
2. Gaslighting women is just so common in families – There are many instances of gaslighting women depicted in this movie. They are as real as it gets because almost all women have experienced these taunts, every once in a while, in their relationship. While Nethra’s relationship with her husband Rohit is all about gaslighting, there are many other instances shown. The one that stands out is when Tapsee asks Pavail whether she should learn driving, he retorts, “Pehle Paranthe toh theek se banana seekh lo, fir driving ki baat karna.” Ouch! That hurts, isn’t it? 
3. Professional successful women are always looked at suspiciously – One small piece in the movie irked me. It was a scene where Tapsee and Pavail always meet and greet their next-door neighbour Dia Mirza who leaves for work the same time as Pavail. Dia is shown to be a professional (details not known) who is also a single parent after her husband, whom she loved a lot, expired. In this particular scene, Pavail is getting into his car, a grand Audi SUV, while Tapsee is handing over his stuff (wallet, thermos, lunch pack, etc.) to him and at the same time Dia comes out, wishes them good morning and gets into her car, also a similarly grand Audi, and leaves. At that moment, Pavail remarks, “Isne fir nayi car le li? Yeh aisa kya karti hai?” (Oh yeah, I too felt like banging his head to the car bonnet.) That’s when Tapsee replies, “HARD WORK!” But this scenario is just too common isn’t it? If a woman, especially when she is single (but it’s not like married women are spared), is successful, the success is always attributed to factors other than hard work, intelligence, skill, capability, leadership qualities, etc. It’s like men just cannot fathom that a woman can be equally capable and deserving of success like them. 
4. Divorces in India get really messy – This is a known fact even without the movie highlighting it. That is also the reason many women continue to be in unhappy and/or abusive marriages. Even when they try to play fair, the men just try to get into nasty stuff to try to intimidate them and put them down. I have seen enough divorce cases to mention that it would be the case in almost all cases (To be fair, even women use these tactics sometimes on their own and at other times on the assumption that the other side will anyway be stooping down to these levels.) Here too there are allegations of jealousy, money-mindedness, greed, etc. and how to forget the husband tries to gain full custody of his unborn child by offering monetary perks (much like his idea of pacifying his wife’s anger). 
5. Housewives rarely get appreciation for their hard work – Tapsee is shown to be a very efficient housewife whose whole life revolves around her home. Her day starts at 6 am and ends much later than Pavail’s. However, the only thing that Pavail highlights is that she cannot cook well, or as well as his mom. If there is anything not working at home, then it’s his wife’s problem and his wife’s fault. Even when she leaves and his house is turned upside down largely because of his own incompetence to manage and maintain it, he is not ready to appreciate what Tapsee brought to the table as a homemaker. His mom suffers a medical emergency because he cannot keep track of her BP the way Tapsee did and in his petition he blamed Tapsee for the medical situation alleging that it was because of the stress caused by her irrational behaviour that his mom suffered. 
6. Men and apology often don’t go hand-in-hand because their upbringing makes them egoistical – Throughout the movie until the very last scene, Vikram doesn’t apologise to Amrita even once for hitting her. Not a sorry… NOT EVEN ONCE. He is providing all kinds of justification about how he suffered a setback in his career, how his boss played unfair to him, he had received a phone call that had upset him, he was angry, he was drunk, whatever. He is cuddling and saying “I love You” to a visibly upset and unresponsive Amrita, and he is buying a diamond bracelet but never offered an apology. And this is so often the case in many couple relationships that men find it difficult to say sorry for their mistakes. They feel insecure about losing their dominating position by admitting that they made a mistake and a large part of it is because they have grown up to larger than life male figures in their families and previous generation where the impression created is whatever men do is acceptable and correct. 
7. Narcissists always make things about themselves and shift the onus of guilt on the other person – Vikram is clearly a narcissist. Throughout the movie, the whole relationship is about him. How his career is important, how dare his bosses play unfair, how his targets are achieved so it’s a good year. Every single time, Amrita tried to put her point forth, Vikram and his “I, me and myself ramblings” start. And everything wrong happening in his life is because of Amrita. Amrita is responsible for escalating this issue and taking it outside the four walls. Amrita has made his life hell because she is not anymore doing everything, she used to do for him, and he must fend for himself. Amrita is the reason for his mom’s sickness. The list goes on. 
8. When your family has your back, you can fight any battles – I have already mentioned that my favourite character in the movie is Amrita’s father played by Kumud Mishra. It so reminds me how my Mom and Dad stood by me. He doesn’t leave Amrita’s side even for a second. Even if Amrita’s mom may sway under societal pressures for once, he always has her back. Even if every person in the world was telling Amrita to compromise and go back (including her own mom initially, her brother, and her hot-shot lawyer who was also a woman’s rights activist); her father told her that what she is doing is right if her heart says it’s right. The truth is that your in-laws no matter how much they love you; they never will stand up for you. That takes me to Amrita’s monologue of how no one ever told Vikram that he was wrong and that no one ever asked her whether she was okay. It was only her parents who stood behind her like a rock and because of whom she could confidently take a decision to opt for divorce even though she didn’t have a financial independence and foothold at the moment. This trust is the most important thing in the world and believe you me, you can fight any battle with that support. I would know because I have been in the same position as Amrita.

Re-invention is all about intention!

Just few days back I was in a training where we were discussing about reinventing yourself. The speaker was the CEO of a Russian Bank and he was discussing how thrice over the company had seen political and financial crisis in their country and how every time they had re-invented themselves according to the situation and emerged stronger.

One of the questions he was asked was "What if it is not possible to re-invent yourself?" He smiled and said, "It is always possible if you want to. It's not a question about possibility but about intention. If you have the intention, you will find a way." And then he gave a perfect example of re-invention where very few people would think possible - Cirque du Soliel. The example of Cirque du Soliel really caught me and it has since been spinning in my head.

After all, how much can a circus hope to re-invent itself? What's the scope? And yet they did it... Not a single animal is there any more in any of their shows. But, it's still a beautiful display of skills... And it's grand and bigger then ever before; almost equivalent to a Broadway show. With the ticket prices touching the sky, they barely do a show that's not sold out. Now that is re-invention. It really is a question of intent.

Image source: Google search

Women's Day

Simple Joys of Life

Simple things bring joy to our everyday life. A piece of chocolate shared with you by your child is the sweetest. The smell of petrichor in the morning after a rain soaked night is the most uplifting. A combo of a book and a blanket is unbeatable in winters. A cup of coffee and meaningless chatter with your colleague during fifteen minutes stolen from your working hours are the highlight of your day. Finding a Rs. 500 banknote in your jeans pocket which had been completely forgotten since the last time you wore it makes you suddenly feel rich. Making a brief eye contact with someone of the opposite sex, even a stranger, in a way that seems to communicate a subtle curiosity at the other end makes you feel the most attractive person on the earth. Blazing through the yellow light you glance in your rear-view to see all the cars behind you stopping at the red light suddenly makes you feel victorious. Seeing a friend trip and stumble around momentarily before regaining his/her footing, then swiftly attempting to play it off like nothing happened can be the most hilarious sight if the moment is right. Finding a parking lot right in front of the store you want to visit makes you believe that it’s your lucky day. Spreading out on fresh clean bed-sheets makes you feel relaxed all of a sudden. Reminiscing about old times with your closest friends makes you feel like a child all over again. Receiving an unexpected compliment can suddenly make your day a whole lot better. Finishing up something that had kept you busy for days feels like a sense of accomplishment. And then nothing ever beats hearing the right song at the right moment. It simply lifts your spirits immediately.

Simple joys of life… Sometimes we need to take time out and appreciate them too.

Life is...

Image Source: Google search

Life is like a song,
Sing it with all your heart.
It doesn’t matter who is listening,
You just need to play your part.

Life is like a dance,
Just sway to the music and beat.
It doesn’t matter who is watching,
As long as there’s excitement in your feet.

Life is like a book,
That you write for yourself.
Others may not even read it,
Just put your story on the shelf.

Learn to live for yourself,
Do what makes you happy.
Just ignore what others have to say,
Their job is just to make you feel crappy.

But once you put on your earplugs,
And sing or dance or write.
Everything wrong in the world,
Just sets itself right.

© Nishtha Khurana, 2018. All rights reserved.

The Padmaavat debate is going in the wrong direction

I haven’t seen the movie Padmaavat yet, but after what I have heard and read in reviews I am confused whether I should even go and watch it, especially since even my 11 year old daughter is interested in it. I don't have a problem with the war scenes and I think I can explain to her the scenes showing a ruthless Alauddin Khilji. What I do have a problem with is the romanticization of Jauhar. Apparently, all they discuss related to Jauhar and why Rani Padmavati chose to do it is about her faithfulness to her husband (she asks his permission to commit Jauhar) and the Rajputi pride, honour and ‘usool’. There is no mention at all of the brutal consequences that Rani Padmavati would have faced if she would have been captured alive by Khilji.

There are a few debates going around this movie. The first one and the more well-known one involves Karni Sena. Honestly, I am lost here because I do not even understand what problem they have with the movie. From what I understand, the movie is solely about the grandeur and opulence of the Rajput kingdoms and about their valour, honour and pride. Now, my question is that does Karni Sena, which claims to protect and hail exactly the same, does not want the country and the world to witness their culture, heritage and everything else? I really do not understand why else would they protest against this movie. And so I will not venture into this further. I will also not comment on what is the real history because, in my personal opinion, it is but a documentation of legends that had fallen down from various generations. Some incidents may have different interpretations as communicated by different people to further generations. Everything should be accepted, yet with a pinch of salt.

The painting of Maharani Padmavati 

performing Jauhar as displayed in the

Maharana Pratap Memorial in Udaipur

(Source: Google search)

Then there are some thoughts shared by Swara Bhaskar in an amazingly worded open letter to Sanjay Leela Bhansali. One of my friends, Radhika, expressed similar thoughts on her blog. Though I agree to every word of what they said, I will refrain from commenting whether Rani Padmavati was right in committing Jauhar or not. What Swara and Radhika say are pertinent and true for the current age and times. But Rani Padmavati lived in a different age and a different era. The customs, sentiments and principles of that age were different. Human race evolves over time. New sentiments and new principles evolve and are accepted and it should be so. Jauhar and Sati were regressive and sexist practices and have been rightly done away so. What is important is that it should have been made clear in the movie that they were old age archaic practices and have been rightly done away with. The movie instead glorifies Jauhar and that is where I have an issue. When you showcase a part of history on the screen, at least put the right facts there. Those ladies did not commit Jauhar because they wanted to prove their valour. They did not commit Jauhar because they were too proud to face defeat for their community. And they definitely did not commit Jauhar because they did not want to live without their husbands. They committed Jauhar because they did not want to face what they knew were a determined fate in the face of their army’s loss – rape, torture and the brutality of Khilji and his army.

I don't understand why people are even discussing rape here. It's not about rape; and yes I do believe that rape is not the end of the world for a woman and life is much more precious. The discussion here should be more about sex slavery vs. death. To set the record straight, I am also not saying that it was better to choose death over sex slavery. I am saying that there is a difference between rape and sex slavery. I am saying that the Rajput women including Rani Padmavati made a choice and chose death over sex slavery. But that choice aspect and the other option if not death, should have been brought out clearly in the movie, which I have heard has not been done. The fact is that Padmavati's Jauhar did take place and she chose death. Obviously when you are presenting a historical fact (irrespective of creative liberties), you will not present that Rani Padmavati chose life or chose to fight (which some debaters allege that she should have done). But her decision should have been presented in the right perspective - that she chose death over sex slavery or inclusion into Khilji's harem. It shouldn't have been presented as something that she did out of love for her husband or because she was a brave 'pativrata stree'.

In reality, Padmavati's Jauhar has more deep rooted relevance than just honour and pride. It’s more to do with war plunder and how the ruthless winning armies take to brutalizing women in a show of power. The women captured were raped, enslaved and brutally treated as a mark of humiliation and for gross display of power and conquests. For some reason, devastation of cities and loot of wealth is never enough for the wining armies to show their dominance over the losing side. They make the humiliation more personal by ravaging their women and making them sex slaves. This is the deepest mark of patriarchy where they demonstrate their dominance over the women. After all, they want to prove to the men over whom they won that now we control what you have controlled all this while… your subjectives (read women). It’s like saying, “You were their ‘protectors’ once but now see what we will do to them.” And it's not just true for history. It's happening right now too in various parts of the world. It had happened in India-Pakistan during Partition, in the World Wars, in Vietnam, in Iraq, in Afghanistan, and loads of other wars… every war. Even today, ISIS is a real example. I have read horrifying stories of Yazidi women who have escaped the clutches of ISIS. Girls as young as 9 years old are raped and sexually abused by multiple partners. They are tortured and sold like cattle. The details are horrific beyond imagination. True, they did not commit Jauhar and probably they did not even have a choice to do so even when they feel like giving up. True, that they have hope against hope that someday they will escape the clutches of their captors. Some have been lucky too. But, no one would deny that it is a horrific state to be in. And your fault? As Swara and Radhika would put it… They have a Vagina.

If only Sanjay Leela Bhansali would have had the guts to bring this out instead of trying to appease the Rajputs and the Karni Sena with his glorious representation of Rajput pride.

How my divorce made me a better person after all!

The day before, I was sitting with someone and we were discussing what it means to be a single mom. One of the things we talked about was how my divorce had changed me. That’s when I reflected that my divorce has actually made me a better person.

Source: Google search

Just like getting married, getting divorced is a life changing event, especially if you have children. When you enter into a marriage, you are filled with hopes of a new life full of love. And when it falls apart, you can’t help feeling a little lost and depressed. It is not just the end of the marriage but the end of who you were in that marriage, and who you had hoped you would grow to be. No one comes out of this unchanged. I am no exception. I am no longer the person I used to be in another life when I was married. Here’s how I have changed for the better:

It has made me more resilient and stronger

I must admit that thanks to the wonderful upbringing I got from my parents, I have never felt as the ‘weaker sex’. I always believed I could achieve anything I set my heart to. But, I have otherwise had a very protected childhood. Right until my college admissions, my dad accompanied me to college and helped me with everything. After college when I started doing my CA articleship, he would drive me down to every client before the start of every audit to make sure I was familiar with the place and the way. Every coaching class which ended after or any working day which extended beyond 8.00 pm, my dad was there outside the building waiting to pick me up. He was always my back and it was because I could fall back on him, that I left everything behind and came back. But then he passed away a year after my separation just when my divorce proceedings were about to start. I was suddenly on my own; dealing with policemen, lawyers, courts, CAW cell authorities and what not. Did I ever wonder whether I would be able to sail through? Yes. Did I ever wonder that I should just let go and accede to their stupid demands? Yes. Did I ever wonder whether I should just continue to live in status quo? Yes again. But all these wonderings only lasted a short while. Eventually, I would be back ready to fight whatever challenges lay ahead. My dad often used to say to me, “Zindagi mein kabhi kisi cheez se ghabrana nahin hai. Woh kehte hain naa, ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’.” Those words sailed me through everything and I emerged eventually as a much stronger person than I thought I could be.

It has made me independent and self-reliant

My divorce has made me more independent than ever - in every sense of the word - financially, emotionally, and socially. I am now far more equipped to be on my own than I ever was before. While I was going through the process of divorce, somewhere down the line I realized that at the end of the day, I am on my own. I made mistakes but I learnt from them. I suffered losses but recovered as fast as I could. There was this force inside me which wanted me to go through the process on my own, without relying on every word of the professionals like lawyers, policemen, etc. I used to discuss with them, argue with them and eventually gathered every information I could use. This is the approach I adopted for my other dealings too.

It has made me appreciate the good people in my life

We often take those who love us for granted. But, seeing how my loved ones - friends and family - often went out of their way to be there for me, to offer me unrelenting support and love, has given me a new found appreciation, respect and love for them. For every person who bails on you or ill-treats you; there are five who stand by you. It is simply a matter of learning to recognize them. My mom was an unrelenting support not just morally but who did everything so as to enable me to get back on my feet. She looks after my daughter while I am away working for more than the normal work shifts. She is there when I travel on business. And the best part was that she was an equal partner in every endeavor we had to undertake to settle down after the double loss of my dad’s demise and the break-down of my marriage. If I stood tall, it was because she never buckled down under pressure. And there was my cousin who stood by my side on every hearing, on every visit to the police station or the mediation center. My divorce taught me to recognize the people who stood by me, and has made me a person who would not hesitate to do the same for them.

It has helped me regain my confidence

I have always been a confident person thanks to my schooling and my upbringing. But somewhere along the way after I had gotten married and had to leave my career, my ex-husband and his family meticulously worked to kill my confidence and mould me into a submissive, compromising person. My confidence was at an all-time low when I came back to my parents’ house post my separation. I would sit quiet all day long and keep thinking of what had happened to my life. That’s when my parents intervened. Within a week, I was on a job hunt on my parents’ insistence. It wasn’t easy. I had been on a break for over 4 years. I had lost touch with all laws, governances, rules and notifications which were so important in my profession. I was even scared of facing interviewers and would walk in with a smile all pepped up by my parents but would end up dispirited just after one trick question that I couldn’t handle. Nevertheless, I managed to start from a scratch at the base position in a medium size CA firm, eventually growing step-by-step over the years. It taught me the value of my education because the only thing that got me back on my professional track was my illustrious academic background.

It has taught me to be grateful

Like I said, I had been on a 4 years break post my marriage because I was forced to give up my career post marriage. When I came back and started finding a foothold back in the professional sphere, I could see all my peers surging way ahead of me. A very important lesson that I learnt was not to compare my career progression with theirs. I realized that I would never be ever satisfied with what I have, in career as well as in life in general, if I keep comparing what I had with what my peers had. I learnt to be thankful and grateful for what I had rather than crib about what I didn’t have. I found a job and was getting to do the kind of work I loved to do. I had a beautiful daughter who brightened my day every day and made me ever so proud to be her mother. I had a lovely family that stood by me like a rock throughout. I was alive, I was well and I was happier than I was when I was married. What more to ask really?

Ten Feminist Women who inspire me with their words

I am a big time internet surfer and I end up voraciously reading articles on women and by women. Also, my Pinterest feeds are full of quotes and words by many strong women. There are some women - authors, actors, celebrities - whose words really inspire me. I would list down 10 such women, feminists in their own rights, whose words inspire me:

1. Emma Watson

She is the quintessential Hermione Granger, as much in real life as in the reel life. She does not dumb herself to gain acceptability. She speaks up about self-confidence as well as body shaming; and about gender equality as well as environment sustainability. She is every bit worthy of being a UN Ambassador and is quite an inspiration for young girls as well as boys.

2. Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou is a legend. Her words are truly inspirational. She talks about fighting your demons and rising from the ashes. She tells you how to put setbacks and failures behind you and rise to success. And what is truly beautiful is that although she talks about her battles as a black woman, her words aren’t specific to any race, any gender or any age.

3. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I haven’t read any of the works of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie but I have listened to one of her TEDx Talks. She is amazing in explaining why our culture needs to be upgraded for women to be treated equal to men. She talks with her experience as a woman in an African country ridden with crimes and sexual violence against women. But her words truly transcend all demographics.

4. Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey is personification of what a woman can achieve despite all odds. Her life is a true inspiration for every woman fighting in the male domain to make a place for herself. She talks about taking life’s challenges head-on and she talks about wage equality for equal work. She is your go-to person when you need a solid dose of motivation.

5. Gloria Steinem

Gloria Steinem is one of the women whose words I had come across even before I even started to consciously think about and read about women’s issues. She is a proud feminist who talks about gender equality as well as racism. Although it is now often discussed at many forums, but she was one of the first I came across who stressed more about teaching our sons to respect women and not just teaching our daughters to consider themselves equal to boys.

6. J.K. Rowling

She is the creator of Hermione Granger, which qualifies her big time as a feminist. She tells girls to focus on being smart and educated rather than pretty and petite. She gave us many pearls of wisdom inside the Harry Potter books and she continues to shower her gems even after that. And on a side note, she knows how to take down trolls like a boss. 

7. Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama is one of the finest First Ladies the US has ever had. She personifies grace and dignity. But that is not all. She encourages young girls to dream and aspire higher. She tells them to focus on building themselves through education. She tells them to have ambition and move on to achieve their dreams with confidence. Her words are great advice for young girls across the world.

8. Sheryl Sandberg

Sheryl Sandberg does not always talk about the empowerment of women in the remote areas. She talks about how women can empower themselves in the competitive corporate world and why it’s time corporates start recognizing them at par with the men. Apparently, she also practices what she preaches in her own company, Facebook Inc.

9. Kalki Koechlin

Kalki Koechlin is one current day Indian actress who is openly and brashly feminist and she doesn’t mince words when talking about the subject. Right from appearing in videos like “It’s your fault” and “The printing machine” (in which she recited a self-composed poem), she has boldly spoken about crime against women. She even spoke about the sexual abuse she suffered as a child and encouraged other women to come out in the open and discuss what they have faced. 

10. Twinkle Khanna

Be it menstruation or the fasting on Karva Chauth, Mrs. Funnybones aka Twinkle Khanna has a funny satirical take on everything to do with women. Having emerged as one of the most followed feminist on the social media, she even turned a best-selling author when she published all her blogposts in a book. And yes, just like J.K. Rowling, she knows how to shut down her trolls.

Pics sources: Pinterest

Single Moms: Some by choice and some perforce

I am a single mom. I have been so for 9 years now. And to be honest, it was really by choice because I decided that I was done with all the lies and arguments and mental torture. My daughter was a year and a half old when I walked out of my marriage and I have not repented my decision for a single moment since then. But was it an easy decision? No, it was not. I thought about my daughter's future. I even tried to patch up and went to a marriage counselor, just trying to find a way so that I could make my marriage work - just for the sake of my daughter. But it wasn't working out and I realized that my (now ex-) husband wasn't really a trustworthy person. Then, my marriage counselor said something to me which made me confident enough to take the final plunge. She told me, "Everyone advises you that you should reconcile with your husband for the sake of your child. But, you need to decide what is good for her. What do you think is better for her? Having both parents who don't trust each other or having one parent but who is happy and content in life? A home where people are always arguing or one which is peaceful and full of love?" That's when I decided to let go the useless efforts of reconciliation. I eventually filed for a divorce and after a long nasty fight lasting five years (because my ex-husband was not willing to pay child maintenance), I finally got a divorce.

One would wonder why I have described the above. Because I want to clear out the questions related to whether I thought about my daughter's future OR the questions related to whether I am happy to be divorced? Yes, I thought about my daughter's future A LOT and yes, I am happier than I was ever when I was married. I also want to highlight that I have really struggled and worked hard to attain my single status and I will not have it any other way now.

So, the point is that I am a single mom by choice. I have often talked about the kind of reactions I get when I tell about my status to anyone (you can read about that here and here). But, I also get some very good reactions, especially when it concerns my child. Some people are genuinely nice and they say some very warm and touching things. What I do get to hear a lot is, "You are doing a great job of being both a mom and a dad, balancing so many things alone. Hats off to you." I am always very touched and sometimes lost for words. I am really thankful for all such lovely words I have got time and again from people, but the truth is that I am not doing all that alone. I am not 100% involved with my daughter alone and she also has my mother who is there for her.

Image source: Google search

My mom is my biggest support system. She (and even my dad) have always been there for me. And if I had the confidence to take the decision of getting out of a miserable marriage, it was because they had my back. My mom looks after my daughter. It is because of her that I have a super life. I have a job that I love and where I spend close to 10-12 hours of my own free will; I have friends with whom I keep in touch (more virtually than in person though) and even though I may not have a super social always-out-in-the-evening-with-people kind of life, but I still have the kind of life where I can choose to travel, go out and do anything if I want to. I am super thankful to my mom for all that. And if I get complimented for being a great parent, I do realize that I am still just one of the parents, the other half role is played by my mom for me.

Coming back to the question of being a single mom. I also want to highlight that I have seen many single moms around me, quite a few of them living blissfully with their husbands in happy marriages. Happy Marriages? Why would I call them single moms then? Because their husbands hardly play any role in bringing up the kids. I have male friends who very proudly boast that they leave home in the morning and often times when they reach home, their kids are already asleep. I have male colleagues who never even are aware of their kids' progress in school, their tutions, their extra-curriculars, PTMs, or even their hobbies; everything being already superbly handled by their very nice wives (who often also take care of all their husbands needs and like the typical dutiful filmy wives, take out clothes for them every morning, pack their lunch boxes, serve hot dinner when their husbands come back home from work, etc.). And I have awesome female friends who are intelligent, well-educated and have given up their careers to be a full time mom because someone has to be there for the children. Or they take up such jobs as the ones which allow them to be back home by the time their kids are home (part-time jobs, just helping in family run businesses, school teacher jobs, etc.). I often wonder whether they are also not single moms? And they are single moms perforce. And to be fair to them, they don't even get appreciated for their 'mommy skills' the way some of the single moms like me get appreciated. Let's give a shout out to such wonderful moms who are doing a great job, maybe even better than me or others like me.

Some years back, I had had a chance to attend a meet-and-greet session with Kiran Bedi. Now, no one can deny that Kiran Bedi is a role model for many ladies because of all her wonderful achievements, especially during her stint in the police force. But, it also cannot be denied that to accomplish what she has accomplished, she did have to stay away from her family and daughter even at times when the child might have needed her. I had asked Ms. Bedi the exact question as to how she balanced her job and role as a mother especially during those critical formative years of her daughter's development. She told me that she had (much like me) her mother as her support system and her daughter was almost single-handedly brought up by her mother. Then, she gave an advice to all the women out there. She told them that we women need to have a support system to bring up our kids, without which it is not possible. This support system could be our families, our husbands, or parents, or parents-in-law; and if not, some external support system that we can trust, like some day-care, or a maid, or baby-sitters. She stressed that women should never be afraid to ask for help if they need it. It's for their own and their children's sake. And last but not the least, women should over-come the guilt of not doing everything for their children themselves. It is impossible to be always hands on with that. Moreover, it is more important to be happy and content with your own life because if you are happy and content in your life, you will automatically bring up happy and cheerful children even when you are not around them 100% of the time. Actually I have never forgotten that. This one single advice from Ms. Bedi has immensely helped me in my life, not just in overcoming the guilt of reaching out to my mother whenever I need her help, but also in deeply appreciating everything she does for me.

Seven things we can learn from children

Today is Children's Day in India. I have been seeing everyone sharing happy messages of their childhood since morning and it makes me wonder how come we lost all that charm all too soon. I think back and wonder how our childhood was all about innocence and playfulness; about joy and freedom. And yet it all eludes us now as grown ups. So, I grabbed a pen and paper and quickly jotted down what I would like to bring back from my childhood.

I made a list - a list of seven things we adults can learn from children. Here we go:

1. Be happy without reason

Children do not really need any reason to be happy. Just a smile can trigger off a laughathon. Just a touch of the finger-tip can set in a rally of tickling game. A funny scene in a movie can lead to raptures that continue well after the movie is over. A witty comment, a joke is enough to brighten the atmosphere. They don't plan their happiness. They don't think, "I'll be happy when this happens." They just are happy.

2. Forgive and forget

The kids don't keep grudges. They fight, they make-up, and they move on. No kid will remind you weeks later that you fought with me that day and this is what you had said. They won't tell you, "Oh! You hurt me when you did this." They simply get over it. And that is the reason they sleep peacefully.

3. Get over guilt

They make mistakes - as all humans do. They feel sorry too - as all humans do. But just as they don't linger on grudges, they don't linger on guilt either. They move on. They apologise and when the apology is accepted, they forget all about the incident itself. And guess what, they sometimes make the same mistakes again. But at least by harbouring no guilt, they keep the innocence alive.

4. Live in the moment

The children don't dwell in the past. They don't worry about their future. All they are concerned with is their present. They feel the feeling they are having that moment - be it joy, or sorrow, or anxiety, whatever. They just go with the flow! They just have a buoyant free spirit that is not bound by the shackles of past failures and future uncertainties. 

5. Wonder

I have quoted this earlier on numerous occasions and I will quote this again: There are no seven wonders in the eyes of a child; there are seven million. They find something exciting and beautiful in everything they see. The gorging fat caterpillar in the garden gets them all excited. Sitting in a train is an experience to cherish. A yard full of dandelions may seem like weeds to an adult; but to a child, it is a field of beautiful yellow flowers through which he/she can make thousand wishes. A paper boat on water is as wondrous as the huge ship in the sea.

6. Believe in magic

When was the last time you believed that Santa would grant your wish? When was the last time you believed that a four leaved clover will bring you good luck? When we were kids, we would see a pair of sparrows and earnestly believed that we await 'joy' that day. And then we would single out all happy instances during an otherwise normal day and attribute it to the two birds. Simply because we believed in the power of those birds. We believed in fairies and we believed in angels. We believed in magic and we believed in prayer. And all in all, these beliefs made our lives beautiful.

7. Fool around sometimes

Children have the most amazing ability to be carefree and merry. They allow themselves the freedom to appear like a fool. They can jump on the bed or splash into a puddle or even strip down to nothing and run through the neighbourhood without a care in the world. They don't try to be so darn perfect all of the time. And they don't worry about what the onlookers will think or say. Any other person's opinion does not matter as long as they are having fun.

I think sometimes we adults need to revisit our childhood and 'reboot our systems to these default settings' to enjoy life. How about doing it today? How about doing it every year on Children's Day? Let's bring back our inner children out every year this day and enjoy life once again.

Image source: Google image search

Whoever said marks are 'not important' is wrong!!

The 12th class results are just out. Last few months, there have been campaigns on social media and FMs trying to tell the kids that marks are NOT IMPORTANT. While the intent is clearly to not put pressure on kids and encourage parents to not do the same, it is not exactly true that marks are not important.

The marks are not EVERYTHING, but they still do matter.

It is true that not everybody can come on top and even kids with average marks do well in life most of the time; eventually making successful careers for themselves. There are far too many examples in my life where I have seen average students excel in their careers and make something good and comfortable for themselves. But you cannot deny that having a good academic result saves you a lot of struggle. I'm a live example of the same.

By God's grace, I had a good result in my XII grade. I went to SRCC and completed my CA at the age of 22 years itself. My good academics easily got me through in one of the Big4s. Due to some personal reasons, I had to quit working an year later. After a four year gap if I got a break, that too a fairly decent one, it was only because of my academic background. So whoever tells me that marks really don't decide your career graph, I would like to differ and correct them that they do. What they don't decide is whether you are capable or not of making a career of yourself. Hard work can always compensate for lower marks later in life provided you keep a positive attitude in life.

To me, the issue is all about differentiating between "motivating kids to get good marks" and "pressurising kids to get good marks". But there's a thin line between the two. How you get the point across is what matters.

I belong to a family that believes in carrots more than sticks when it comes to studies. (Well, sometimes sticks are used as well but only in extreme cases.) When I had topped my school about 18 years back, I remember a journalist interviewing me. She asked me basic questions like how I prepared for the exams, how many hours of study did I put in, etc. And I, despite all my excitement, gave very insipid answers. (Maybe that's why they never published my interview). In the end, she asked me, "Did you ever think of committing a suicide?" I was shocked, "Hell, no!" "Did your parents ever tell you that you need to get this much percentage?" "Well, I knew they expected me to do my best. But percentage and marks were never discussed." "What did they say to you?" "They always said that you're on your own when it comes to your further studies and career. We don't have any contacts where we could promise you to get into a college / course or a job. So do your best and leave the rest to God. Good things happen to those who work hard" Now that I look back, I am very proud of my parents for encouraging me and my sisters without creating any daunting pressure on us. I hope when the time comes, I am able to handle the situation with as much maturity.

So, the point that I want to make here is that we need to tell our kids that marks are important but they are not the end of the world. If they are scared, calm them down and tell them, "You do your best and leave the rest to God."

New Year New Pact - Update

So the new pacts for 2016 are finally decided for me. I am taking up two:‪#‎100extraordinarywomen‬ where I would like to find out and share stories of 100 ordinary women who did extraordinary things and ‪#‎12bookstoread‬ where I would like to read at least 12 books in a year and review them WITHOUT any spoilers. Both these posts would also be shared by me on my blog (sub-blogs created for the same).

As for the 3rd idea ‪#‎12randomactsofkindness‬, I think I would do it none the less and would rather try making it a way of life instead of a one year pact.

Now, the first one does not seem very difficult to me but I loved the idea so picked it up. Considering my schedule, the second one looks slightly challenging and therefore I picked that up. One for the soul and the other for the mind. Let's go!

New Year New Pact!

The year 2015 has been an exceptional year. I took up a pact and I'm thrilled to have completed it. It was simple act of doing something that I already did albeit slightly less frequently and yet I could not have imagined what it would lead me to. It turned out to be a milestone year as it introduced me to friends far and wide and we suddenly became part of each other's life. It also led me to think how small challenges we take up for ourselves lead us to something nice and sweet that we may cherish for a long time to come.

So, I've decided to take a new pact for the coming year and though I'm not yet decided on one, I have a few ideas and am inviting more from all friends. #NewYearNewPact

Here are a couple of my ideas and please feel free to add yours:

1. 100 stories of exemplary lives of ordinary women (We can call it ‪#‎100extraordinarywomen‬ - This one is my favourite. Next year, I would like to find out and share stories of 100 ordinary women who did extraordinary things. They could be anyone in India or abroad. This is my favourite because IF more people join me in this pact, imagine the number of stories we would end up knowing and sharing, even if some are repetitions. Gosh! I've even started on a list of probable names in my head.)

2. 12 books in my To-Read list (We can call this ‪#‎12bookstoread‬ - I have been becoming lax in picking up the books and reading them. So, with this pact, I would like to read at least 12 books in a year and review them WITHOUT any spoilers. Now, considering my schedule, 12 is a big number for me (I don't want to count the children's books I read with my daughter) but others who want to join in this pact can read more.)

3. 12 random acts of kindness (We can call this ‪#‎12randomactsofkindness‬ - It's good to do something nice for unsuspecting people unexpectedly. We can try and do such thing at least once a month - howsoever big or small - and share with others. Now, sharing your act of kindness, is it too vain or would it encourage others to follow suit?)

The intolerance debate!!

After BJP lost in Bihar, a friend of mine summarized on Facebook the situation for BJP as follows: "I hope at least now the BJP realise that they came to power after the 2014 General Elections, not because of their core saffron constituency - but because a large number of Indians who are free minded, fair and desirous of economic growth have given them a chance to implement their development agenda. If they do not rein in the foot-in-mouth ban-at-sight brigade, they will simply not be able to deliver growth, jobs, infrastructure and development, and will end up getting severely chastised by the Indian voter."

This is exactly what was going on in my mind.

I'll be honest. I had lost all interest in politics until Mr. Narendra Modi hopped on to the national scene. My family has been a big-time BJP supporter for years but I personally had not found one leader in BJP - not even in any other party - who could inspire me after Mr. Atal Bihari Vajpayee retired. My attitude, much like most of the youth around, was that of indifference towards Indian Politics. But then Mr. Modi came forward. He had an impressive track record in Gujarat. I did understand even then that he thrives a lot on publicity but honestly, I did not find anything objectionable in that. I still don't. After all we in corporate world do understand that selling your work is just as important as doing good work. But, this works only if you do have some base of work and results to showcase.

Add to it that his entire agenda for the General Elections was based on "Development". His mission statement looked realistic. Many of the promises had a timeline of 10 years or more unlike the promises of 7 days / 30 days / 100 days as promoted by a certain new emerging popular rival fighting it out on an anti-corruption agenda. Mr. Modi got a clear mandate and since then he has worked on a lot of issues. He has been criticised as well as praised for everything he has done, or done away with. He has taken both in his stride and ignored what got into is way.

I'm neither a political expert, nor an economic analyst. But, as a layman whatever steps he took seemed beneficial in the long run. He was a pro in getting his messages across through various mediums. For instance, he introduced the "Beti bachao, Beti padhao" campaign and ensured that the females were in fore-front in the Republic Day Parade. He has been travelling across the world promoting "Make in India" and ensuring FDI deals for India. But it would be foolish to assume that all that FDI will enter India on the next day at one go. It would be foolish to assume "Achche Din" will come in one year. They both will take their own sweet time and will flow in slowly in their own comfortable speed.

Anyway, the point is that even though I still have all the trust in Mr. Modi's policies and strategy, I'm losing faith again in BJP. At this point, I sincerely believe that BJP might not be in power to see another term and further Mr. Modi's agenda; or reap its fruits just as well. And all this is not new to BJP even. They never make it another term in a row. But they don't learn either. The moment they get power, their tongues start wagging and they start waving their highly irresponsible saffron-coated flags. This time due to a full majority, they've gone full swing into beef-banning, Muslim bashing, RSS orthodox moral policing, etc. So much so that the entire country is debating on intolerance.

More than all this, what irks me is that Mr. Modi, the famed authoritarian, is absolutely quiet on that. Does he not understand that he needs to be on the PM chair at least two terms to fulfil what he has set out to do? Does he not understand from the Delhi and Bihar verdicts that such irresponsible behaviour from his party and their "associates" will not lead him to a second term in office? What exactly is keeping him from reigning in the motor-mouths and the obnoxious orthodoxes? Isn't it high time, he stops being so smug in his position and so confident in his work that he totally ignores the periphery? Isn't it time he salvages his reputation of a pro-development and anti-orthodox leader?

Giving the gift of knowledge!

There are some issues I feel very strongly about. My friends know that I talk about women’s issues and child abuse. But, only my very close friends and family know how strongly I feel about education. I have been extremely privileged to get a very good education thanks to my parents’ efforts. I went to a top convent school in Delhi; I went to the top most commerce college in Asia; I was blessed by God to sail through Chartered Accountancy at the young age of 22 and then I also topped a private university in Germany during my Masters. At the risk of sounding immodest, that’s an academic record I’m really proud of. But, the importance of it all actually dawned on me when after a failed marriage including a sabbatical from a happening career, I was struggling to get back on my feet. If there was a single most important factor that got me back on my career path (apart from my family’s undaunting support), it had to be my education. Moreover, I also see my education as much more than just academic records for me. My schooling had shaped my personality, developed my character and taught me the skills required to be a proud self-reliant girl. This education goes far beyond curriculum books. It is shaped through immersing yourself in experiences of others that you only get to know through their written words, namely, books (primarily other than course books) and through your own mind which knows how to think. They both coupled together take you to a world which is far beyond your limited four walls – a world where imagination soars and the learning is limitless. This is all-round development and certainly the kind of all-round development that I wish all children in our country and in our world are able to get.


My previous company was very active in terms of corporate social responsibility. Apart from volunteering activities, there was an initiative called “Give as you earn” (GAYE) in which we committed to part with a portion of our salary every month – could be as little as Rs. 100 without any upper limit – for transfer to our chosen charities (out of a long list of charities). Apart from the occasional guilt of it being ‘too easy’ and not needing any effort from your side, it was a convenient way to give back to the society. When I changed jobs, my current company did not and still does not have too much of corporate social responsibility initiatives on its platter. To be fair to the company, it is a new set-up and a growing one right now. But, despite off and on monetary contributions to some charities, I had this on my mind as to figure out a way to give back to the society, preferably to help in spread of knowledge to the next generation.


Then as part of casual conversation, a friend suggested that lets open an NGO and do something for the society. I liked the idea but was a little sceptical. An NGO is a huge responsibility. So, I suggested that why don’t we start with baby steps and if we are able to sustain and grow, we can think of forming an NGO as well. And just impulsively I had an idea: there are many charitable schools running for the underprivileged but they are only able to fulfil their basic needs. Why not provide them with something extra? Why not start contributing books per month – even if just two books per month – to the school other than the course books? With six people (that was the strength of our core group of friends), with two books per month, we can have a total of 144 books in a year and actually they will have a kind of library. Eventually it isn’t even about money because you get to choose the books that fit into your budget.


I even remembered a school for underprivileged students in my neighbourhood called Vishwas Vidyalaya and made it a point to check it out. A basic Google search, a phone call and a short visit later, the initiative which we now call “Mission Vishwas” was born. Apart from the six of us, I managed to get two more people on board and we not only donated books but we even donated sports equipment to the school (cricket set, pairs of badminton rackets, footballs, Frisbee). Today I’m visiting the school for yet another monthly contribution of books. Actually, these small visits have slowly become the highlight of my month as I always make it a point to come myself (often with my daughter and sometimes with a friend and a fellow contributor).

But I’ll be honest. I’m slightly concerned about the direction this little initiative is going into. The contributions have been dwindling slightly even though its just the start. And though that troubles me, I feel that one cannot force charity. So, I have ended up increasing my own contributions to at least keep up the pace. I’ve gone from 3 books to 6 books and now to 18 books this month. I’m extremely proud that we have – in a short span of barely four months – been able to add 99 books to the empty room they called a Library and added quite a few sports equipment to the other empty room they called Sports centre. Actually, this whole initiative is so close to my heart now that I just know I will continue as long as I can even if I’m the only one contributing to the school. But now me and a friend of mine are taking it upon ourselves to mobilize more people to contribute.


P.S. Like I said, we have decided to mobilize more people to join in. I personally would like to reach out to my fellow pacters and use the pact to mobilize generous people with similar thought process who would like to join in the cause. In case anyone is interested to know more about it and help this little school, please feel free to get in touch with me directly or join my Facebook Group created for this initiative by the name of “Mission Vishwas” (https://www.facebook.com/groups/783414818407522/?ref=bookmarks). We DO NOT take any monetary contributions and / or fix any min. limit or value of your contributions. It is only books – and any books other than curriculum books – appropriate for students of a Hindi Medium school from class Nursery to Eighth. Moreover, if anyone in Gurgaon / NCR can devote time and volunteer to help slow / new students come up the curve with existing class, it would be very helpful. Even if you choose to contribute directly, it is equally welcome and appreciable. Please feel free to check out the website: http://www.vishwasindia.org/index.html.

RIP Mr. APJ Abdul Kalam

I can write many paragraphs in obituary to this great man who inspired generations and ignited millions of minds. But no matter how many words I use, they will always fall short of what deserves to be said about him. Very few people are there in the world who only have all the people loving them and respecting them and not a single person hating them. Sir, you are one of those rare gems who is universally revered.

I read this tribute to Mr. APJ Abdul Kalam. I do feel that it easily resounds how I felt about the news of his demise. So, instead of filling this space with meaningless words, I will just reproduce these here. RIP!

On getting the sad news, we cry a tear,
As if you were some one close and dear.
Never met, never been close,
But why then do I feel this loss?
Is it because you lived for us?
A rare breed by far thus.
Your thinking high, your living sober.
Leading by example, never an empty talker.
In our world full of dirty leaders, you shine so bright.
Your thoughts, words and deeds are indeed a light.
For our generation you are an inspiration,
A ray of hope in a sea of desperation.
Above politics and worldly gains but full of passion.
You will live in the hearts of our generation.

- Anonymous