Giving the gift of knowledge!

There are some issues I feel very strongly about. My friends know that I talk about women’s issues and child abuse. But, only my very close friends and family know how strongly I feel about education. I have been extremely privileged to get a very good education thanks to my parents’ efforts. I went to a top convent school in Delhi; I went to the top most commerce college in Asia; I was blessed by God to sail through Chartered Accountancy at the young age of 22 and then I also topped a private university in Germany during my Masters. At the risk of sounding immodest, that’s an academic record I’m really proud of. But, the importance of it all actually dawned on me when after a failed marriage including a sabbatical from a happening career, I was struggling to get back on my feet. If there was a single most important factor that got me back on my career path (apart from my family’s undaunting support), it had to be my education. Moreover, I also see my education as much more than just academic records for me. My schooling had shaped my personality, developed my character and taught me the skills required to be a proud self-reliant girl. This education goes far beyond curriculum books. It is shaped through immersing yourself in experiences of others that you only get to know through their written words, namely, books (primarily other than course books) and through your own mind which knows how to think. They both coupled together take you to a world which is far beyond your limited four walls – a world where imagination soars and the learning is limitless. This is all-round development and certainly the kind of all-round development that I wish all children in our country and in our world are able to get.


My previous company was very active in terms of corporate social responsibility. Apart from volunteering activities, there was an initiative called “Give as you earn” (GAYE) in which we committed to part with a portion of our salary every month – could be as little as Rs. 100 without any upper limit – for transfer to our chosen charities (out of a long list of charities). Apart from the occasional guilt of it being ‘too easy’ and not needing any effort from your side, it was a convenient way to give back to the society. When I changed jobs, my current company did not and still does not have too much of corporate social responsibility initiatives on its platter. To be fair to the company, it is a new set-up and a growing one right now. But, despite off and on monetary contributions to some charities, I had this on my mind as to figure out a way to give back to the society, preferably to help in spread of knowledge to the next generation.


Then as part of casual conversation, a friend suggested that lets open an NGO and do something for the society. I liked the idea but was a little sceptical. An NGO is a huge responsibility. So, I suggested that why don’t we start with baby steps and if we are able to sustain and grow, we can think of forming an NGO as well. And just impulsively I had an idea: there are many charitable schools running for the underprivileged but they are only able to fulfil their basic needs. Why not provide them with something extra? Why not start contributing books per month – even if just two books per month – to the school other than the course books? With six people (that was the strength of our core group of friends), with two books per month, we can have a total of 144 books in a year and actually they will have a kind of library. Eventually it isn’t even about money because you get to choose the books that fit into your budget.


I even remembered a school for underprivileged students in my neighbourhood called Vishwas Vidyalaya and made it a point to check it out. A basic Google search, a phone call and a short visit later, the initiative which we now call “Mission Vishwas” was born. Apart from the six of us, I managed to get two more people on board and we not only donated books but we even donated sports equipment to the school (cricket set, pairs of badminton rackets, footballs, Frisbee). Today I’m visiting the school for yet another monthly contribution of books. Actually, these small visits have slowly become the highlight of my month as I always make it a point to come myself (often with my daughter and sometimes with a friend and a fellow contributor).

But I’ll be honest. I’m slightly concerned about the direction this little initiative is going into. The contributions have been dwindling slightly even though its just the start. And though that troubles me, I feel that one cannot force charity. So, I have ended up increasing my own contributions to at least keep up the pace. I’ve gone from 3 books to 6 books and now to 18 books this month. I’m extremely proud that we have – in a short span of barely four months – been able to add 99 books to the empty room they called a Library and added quite a few sports equipment to the other empty room they called Sports centre. Actually, this whole initiative is so close to my heart now that I just know I will continue as long as I can even if I’m the only one contributing to the school. But now me and a friend of mine are taking it upon ourselves to mobilize more people to contribute.


P.S. Like I said, we have decided to mobilize more people to join in. I personally would like to reach out to my fellow pacters and use the pact to mobilize generous people with similar thought process who would like to join in the cause. In case anyone is interested to know more about it and help this little school, please feel free to get in touch with me directly or join my Facebook Group created for this initiative by the name of “Mission Vishwas” (https://www.facebook.com/groups/783414818407522/?ref=bookmarks). We DO NOT take any monetary contributions and / or fix any min. limit or value of your contributions. It is only books – and any books other than curriculum books – appropriate for students of a Hindi Medium school from class Nursery to Eighth. Moreover, if anyone in Gurgaon / NCR can devote time and volunteer to help slow / new students come up the curve with existing class, it would be very helpful. Even if you choose to contribute directly, it is equally welcome and appreciable. Please feel free to check out the website: http://www.vishwasindia.org/index.html.

Every child is gifted...

Today is the time of cut-throat competition. We see people at work-places trying to be one-up that their colleagues at all times. However, I feel that people don't try to be as competitive in the workplace as they are in their parenting. It's a rat-race out there actually and everyone is trying to prove to an invisible someone that they are the best parent in the world. No-one is immune and somewhere or the other in varied degrees we are all in the same boat including me.

In fact, success at work even gives more gas to this phenomenon. This may probably be for the following reasons: (1) Working parents try to overcome their guilt conscience by demonstrating that they are actually working so hard and being so career minded so that they can bring up their children better, provide them with better facilities and give them all that they ask for. They want their kids to be the most accomplished of the lot. (Whenever I hear the term 'accomplished', I am reminded of the 18th century writings by Jane Austen whereby the women who drew, knitted, read books, played the piano and did 2 or 3 other things were considered highly accomplished.) (2) People have found a new way to show-off their "improved standard of living" when they brag about their kids going to high-end costly schools and 3-4 extra-curricular activities outside school hours. They want to tell the world, "listen... I can afford to give my kids this luxury." They hear other parents talk about their kids learning contemporary dance and tennis and swimming; then how could their child be far behind?

In the end, we are all moulding our kids in 1 generic pre-defined mould without giving them the space to grow on their own and the way they want. We compare the kids with their peers. We tell them that your so-and-so classmate can draw so beautifully, why don't you practice a little more. "Look at him, how well she writes. You need to brush up your creative writing skills. Let me see if there are some classes available." And it goes on and on. We all want our kids to be exemplary orators, comfortable and confident on stage and beyond. We want them to be best calligraphers and great thinkers all of them the next Salman Rushdie or Arundhati Roy in the making. We want them all excelling in dramatics, dance, instrumental music, martial arts, sports, and this and that and everything. We ourselves are not able to decide what we want our kids to be and we certainly do not give our kids the leverage to decide for themselves what they want to do and what they do not want to do. We talk about peer pressure on kids when we hear our kids say "Mom, my friend is learning this and I also want to do it." But, we forget that we only have developed this psychology in our kids where they look around and see others by comparing our kids to others.

What we don't focus on is that every child has his or her capabilities. And why only capabilities? They all have their own interests. A child may be really good at sports but his/her interest may lie in literature. But, then we will tell them, "no, sports is very important and you should focus there instead of reading these stupid fiction". Traditionally also, people have always forced kids to study and get good grades trying to fill in their minds with fears like "not everyone can become a Sachin Tendulkar. A cricket team has only 11 players and all the rest find it difficult to run their homes if they opt for sports over studies. So, focus on studies and make a decent career as a doctor, engineer or an accountant." We focus on what is a better option by looking at what pays and not what the child wants. And since every parent is thinking like that, it becomes a herd mentality and everyone starts focussing on the same stuff. The stuff that brings bucks.

We forget that any person will thrive and bloom best in something that they enjoy doing and not in something that gets them more money. The thrill of getting a fat pay cheque in your account is short-lived but the daily excitement and enthusiasm of doing something that you love doing is priceless and forever. Shouldn't we let our kids enjoy the sunshine and try every experience that they want to. Let them choose what they want to do and encourage and nurture their interests widely. How does it matter if the neighbour's daughter is learning salsa as well as instrumental music? If my daughter just wants to take her cycle out in the garden in the evenings and that gives her happiness, why should we insist in taking up an activity. If my son doesn't enjoy colouring and drawing, why should I insist in him practicing more just because he got a grade lower than most kids in his class. Maybe he got a good grade in another subject which another child might not enjoy as much. Or even if my child did not get a top grade in any activity, does that mean that my child is not capable of anything? Why should grades and levels decide a child's capability?

I look back at my life and I notice that I wasn't a top student in junior school. I struggled with Maths and languages. But later, I became a top scorer in both with almost 100% scores in Maths. Later in life, say in high school, I developed a flair for art and writing. I was good at painting and wrote good poetry and small articles. But, over the years, again my interests changed again and I took on to reading and blogging. Similarly, I believe every child has interests which are developed later and / or which keep changing. Let me call them their gifts which they are lying there untouched. They reach out to them when they feel like and then they cannot be prevented from opening it.

So, to conclude, we as parents need not fret over what our kids are not doing but other kids are doing and we should always remember that: Every child is gifted. They just unwrap their packages at different times.