Relationship advice

I read the following relationship tips (originally for women) on the internet today and I feel that they are very helpful and worth keeping in mind.

P.S. Having always promoted Gender Equality, I personally believe that these tips are relevant but not gender specific which means they should apply equally for men looking for a relationship.

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RELATIONSHIP TIPS FOR WOMEN

1) If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
2) If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
3) Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
4) Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
5) Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
6) Slower is better.
7) Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
8) If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't 'be friends.' A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
9) Don't settle.If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
10) Don't stay because you think 'it will get better'. You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
11) The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
12) Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't take responsibility when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
13) Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
14) Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you; if something bothers you, speak up.
15) Be aware that healthy relationships are built on trust, and that trust takes time to develop. It may be unwise to share too much of yourself and about yourself too quickly. (See 6 above)
16) You cannot change anyone else's behaviour. Change comes from within.
17) Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are, even if he has more education or a better job. And don't ever make him feel less important than you are either.
18) Do not make him into a quasi-god; he's a man, nothing more, nothing less.
19) Never let a man define who you are.
20) A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
21) All men are NOT dogs.
22) You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
23) You need time to heal between relationships...there's nothing useful about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
24) You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
25) Dating is fun, even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
26) Allow him to miss you sometimes...if a man always know where you are all the time, and you're always readily available to him - he may take you for granted... remember that you have your own life to live which may not always include him.
27) Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't listen to you and try to meet your needs.

I've learned...

I received a beautiful post this morning on one of my WhatsApp groups and I want post it here so that I may refer to it time and again whenever I need a doze of motivation.

These are beautiful lines written by Andy Rooney, apparently a man who had the gift of saying so much with so few words.


I've learned .... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned .... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned .... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned .... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned .... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned .... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned .... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned .... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned .... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned .... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned .... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned .... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned .... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned .... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned .... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned .... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned .... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned .... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned .... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned .... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile..

I've learned .... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned ... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned .... That I wish I could have told my father that I love him one more time before he passed away.

I've learned .... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned ..... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned .... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned .... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

The price of children!!!

The US government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle-income family.

But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down.

It translates into:

• $8,896.66 a year 
• $741.38 a month 
• $171.08 a week. 
• A mere $24.24 a day! 
• Just over a dollar an hour. 

Still, you might think the best financial advice is: Don't have children if you want to be 'rich.'
Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140.00?

• Naming rights. First, middle, and last! 
• Glimpses of God every day 
• Giggles under the covers every night 
• More love than your heart can hold 
• Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs 
• Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies. 
• A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate 
• A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites 
• Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day 
• You get to: 
• Finger-paint, 
• Carve pumpkins, 
• Play hide-and-seek, 
• Catch lightning bugs 
• For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up 
• Keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh 
• Watch Saturday morning cartoons 
• Go to Disney movies 
• And wish on stars 
• You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day 

For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang for your buck.

You get to be a hero just for:

• Retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof 
• Taking the training wheels off a bike 
• Removing a splinter 
• Filling a wading pool 
• Coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs 
• And coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless 

You get a front row seat in history to witness the:

• First step 
• First word 
• First date 
• First time behind the wheel 

You get to be immortal.

You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.
In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God.

You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits - so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

That is quite a deal for the price !!!

Love and enjoy your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren!!!

It's the best investment you'll ever make !!!

Quips and Quotes to help you toast the New Year

One of the most innovative holiday greetings I received this new year's eve came from a friend who sent a titled "Quips and Quotes to help you toast the New Year". It contained thoughtful quotes from Harvey Mackay, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller "Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive" and more. Since I am an aphorism junkie and always on the lookout for creative and interesting ways to stay in touch with my friends and readers, I especially welcomed their effort.

In fact, I liked it so much I decided to reproduce the same here to guide you through 2011 and beyond.

• They don't pay off on effort ... they pay off on results.
• No one ever choked swallowing his or her pride.
• Don't just mark time; use time to make your mark.
• People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.
• Technology should improve your life, not become your life.
• The best way to be somebody is just to be yourself.
• The best vitamin for making friends is B1.
• It is not a question as to who is right but what is right.
• The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing it exactly right.
• Many people hear ... but few people listen.
• There is no free tuition in the school of experience.
• The person who has no goal does not fear failure.
• The best way to get even is to forget.
• It is better to forgive and forget than to resent and remember.
• Make decisions with your heart and you'll wind up with heart disease.
• People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be—not what you nag them to be.
• You can win more friends with your ears than with your mouth.
• When you kill a little time, you may be murdering opportunity.
• Education is an investment and never an expense.
• Ideas won't work unless I do.
• It's never right to do wrong, and it's never wrong to do right.
• Your smile is more important than anything else you wear.
• Gratitude shouldn't be an occasional incident but a continuous attitude.
• Helping someone up won't pull you down.
• Those that have the most to say usually say it with fewest words.
• If you don't learn from your mistakes, there's no sense in making them.
• People wrapped up in themselves make pretty small packages.
• When is the last time you did something for the first time?

I also wanted to share these gems from unknown authors whose wisdom is timeless.

• Smart is believing half of what you hear; brilliant is knowing which half to believe.
• One thing I can give and still keep is my word.
• Those who beef too much often land in the stew.
• Compromise is always wrong when it means sacrificing principle.
• Most people say they are willing to meet each other halfway; trouble is most people are pretty poor judges of distance.
• If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.
• Most people aim to do right; they just fail to pull the trigger.
• Most people fail in life because the wishbone is where the backbone should be.
• Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the mastery of it.
• Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.
• Happiness can be thought, taught and caught—but not bought.
• Burying your talents is a grave mistake.
• Praise, like sunlight, helps all things to grow.
• Life just gives you time and space—it's up to you to fill it.
• The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge.
• A stumble may prevent a fall.
• Failure is no more fatal than success is permanent.

Mackay's Moral: Not just words to live by, words to live better.

So,

Happy NEW YEAR  Friends!!!!!!!!

Here are My Wishes for You...

H ours of happy times with friends and family

A bundant time for relaxation

P rosperity

P lenty of love when you need it the most

Y outhful excitement at lifes simple pleasures

N ights of restful slumber (you know - don't worry be happy)

E verything you need

W ishing you love and light

Y ears and years of good health

E njoyment and mirth

A angels to watch over you

R embrances of a happy years!

What you're thinking, lady?

I came across this very funny commercial. For all you ladies who can sportingly laugh at your own gender:

The diagram demonstrates the THOUGHTS in a female and male brain during the simple question: "Shall we go for a party?"

3 more idiots

This is a fun mail circulating nowadays. I would like to dedicate this to all the young and prospective CAs.

Daughters

When God created daughters

He took very special care.

He gave them smiles of angels
and took a bit of stardust
to make bright and twinkling eyes.

He fashioned them from sugar

He gave them a sunny laughter

And everything that is nice.

He smiled when he made daughters
Because he knew, he had
Created love & happiness
For every mum & dad.


Source: From a beautiful wedding invitation from the bride’s parents.

Ten signs that your boss sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most people have some complaints about their manager, but how can you tell when your boss is a truly bad one?

1. The knot you get in your gut whenever you have to deal with him. You never know which person is going to show up — the nice, benevolent manager or the insane, angry hophead.
2. The feeling you get when you have to get dressed every morning. You know, the sensation that life wasn’t meant to be like this, that nobody knows what the day ahead will hold — and not in a good way, either.
3. He’s either absent — or omnipresent. On days when he is supposed to be there, leading the way, guiding his people with a firm and gentle hand, he is nowhere to be found. Yet on days when everybody is executing the plan with distinction, there he is, standing in the middle of everything, gumming up the works, micro-managing, driving everybody crazy.
4. His word cannot be trusted. He lies when it suits him, and worst of all, he believes his lies once they are uttered.
5. He is never wrong. Sometimes he may be “misinformed,” or “misled by others,” but he is never, ever, wrong. Those who think he might be in error had better keep that opinion to themselves.
6. All credit goes to him. All blame goes to others.
7. His only loyalty is to himself. More times than you can count, you have seen him sell people down the river who used to be his favourites. If there is trouble, he’s the first one to throw his colleagues and subordinates overboard into the shark-infested waters. Strangely, he is also the first person to question other people’s loyalty.
8. Work hours are hard to predict. There are long stretches of unmanaged, vague, pointless activity or inactivity, followed by short bursts of frenzy. Weekends are not safe. Vacations are not honoured. Your time is not your own.
9. His door is closed most of the time. Particularly after lunch.
10. He’s the main topic of conversation. Wherever co-workers gather, all they talk about is what an annoying, hurtful, scary, irrational nutbag the boss is. And when a bad boss goes, he dies un-mourned — except perhaps by the one person at the office who did his bidding.

The Obedient Wife...

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.


Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.”

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there – dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said:

“Wait just a moment!”

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, “Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.”

The loyal wife replied, “Listen, I’m a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.”

“You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?”

“I sure did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a Cheque… If he can cash it, then he can spend it.”

P.S. Another good one from the internet.

Police Emergency...

This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.


He immediately phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I’ve just shot them all.”

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

P.S. Read it on the net. I think it's a good one.

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING...

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You hung my first painting on the refrigerator,

And I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You fed a stray cat,

And I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You baked a birthday cake just for me,

And I knew that little things were special things.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You said a prayer,

And I believed there is a God I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You kissed me good-night,

And I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

I saw tears come from your eyes,

And I learned that sometimes things hurt--

But it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You smiled,

And it made me want to look that pretty too.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

You cared,

And I wanted to be everything I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking,

I looked...

And I wanted to say "thanks"

For all those things you did,

When you thought I wasn't looking.

by Mary Rita Schilke Korzan © 1980

There is no indispensable man

Sometime when you’re feeling important;
Sometime when your ego’s in bloom
Sometime when you take it for granted
You’re the best qualified in the room,

Sometime when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions
And see how they humble your soul;

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that’s remaining
Is a measure of how you’ll be missed.

You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop and you’ll find that in no time
It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example
Is do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There’s no indispensable man

Wow!! How true and well-said. May be one more way of doing Introspection………………….

Nails in the fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, ‘You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.’

N.B. This post again was not penned by me but I find it beautiful none the less.

The Difference between Focusing on Problems and Focusing on Solutions

Case 1

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface).

To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.

And what did the Russians do...?? They used a Pencil!!!

Case 2

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan 's biggest cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department.

For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a whoopee amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company in India was posed with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc., but instead came out with another solution………………He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Moral

Always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problems.

N.B. This again is not penned by me. but, as always it has humoured, touched and inspired me to make it to this place.

The woman in your life...

Just one of those forward e-mails…. But, how true….

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Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are; who is earning or may earn almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family, name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this.....

There will always be sunshine after the rain...

Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine,
after the rain ....
Perhaps you may stumble,
perhaps even fall,
But God's always ready,
To answer your call ...
He knows every heartache,
sees every tear,
A word from His lips,
can calm every fear ...
Your sorrows may linger,
throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish,
in dawn's early light ...
The Savior is waiting,
somewhere above,
To give you His grace,
and send you His love...
Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
"God always sends rainbows ....
after the rain ... "

To get out of difficulty, one must usually go through it!
P.S. I did not write this poem but found it worth putting on my blog for Inspiration. - Nishtha