Sorry, but Ravan was a sexual predator!

Every time around Dussehra, it has become a routine since last few years now. There are social media posts about how what Ravan did to Sita was not "as offensive as it is deemed to be". Many of these posts are forwarded messages with anonymous authors and I will not get into the discussion about who is spreading them (honestly, I know where that discussion would go). But basically many ladies of the current generation are also sharing these same messages and talking about it. And that's where my main concern is that how can a woman be okay with what Ravan did to Sita. 

Ravi Verma's Ravana Sita and Jatayu

The messages say how Ravan really gave Sita more respect as compared to Ram. He never touched her without her consent and on the other hand Ram made her go through Agni pariksha to prove her "purity". Maybe it's just a fad or a supposed demonstration of how intellectual, liberal thinking you are that you are questioning your own scriptures and rituals, or maybe your ideas of Feminism include putting down Ram for questioning his wife's purity by showing his arch enemy as a better human being than him; but even in modern day and context, Ravan's actions are totally unpardonable. 

I myself have often questioned about many of Ram's actions and the way he and others treated Sita and ladies in general and have openly expressed how the scriptures are not in alignment with the ideas of feminism. So, I guess that should prove that I am not saying and writing this just because I am a Hindu and I-will-support-my-Hindu-scriptures-to-death kind of syndrome. 

However, preaching greatness of Ravan because of how he "treated Sita with respect and didn't touch her without her wishes" is totally out of tune with the ideas of feminism and of basic humanity even. That's incomplete knowledge of the scripture too. The scripture explains how Ravan had once raped an "Apsara" and had been given a curse that if he ever touched another woman without her consent, his head will blow up. He did not touch Sita because he feared for his life. Rest, he did everything unacceptable and he tortured her to coerce her in many ways. The female guards ensured Sita was bound to a place and were always taunting and mentally harassing her. She was put in a garden and her movement were restrained. She was pressurised every single day to give in and marry him (symbolic of consent). 

Please put yourself in Sita's shoes and think whether in that situation day after day, you will feel respected or humiliated and abused. Kidnapped, kept isolated, locked (in a garden but still contained) and constantly being pressurised to marry someone she did not want to marry. How is that the idea of treating someone with respect? The people who think so need to understand that this is just another way of saying "boys will be boys... He liked her so he did all that stuff but hey, he didn't rape her, did he?" 

Maybe the whole narrative is about changing the perspective about questioning Ram for asking Sita to prove her purity but then the same cannot be highlighted by justifying the acts of Ravan. Both acts were questionable and Ravan's acts deserved punishment too. The posts always mention that Ravan was such a learned man and yet all his wisdom and knowledge did not serve any useful purpose when it came to Sita.

Simple Joys of Life

Simple things bring joy to our everyday life. A piece of chocolate shared with you by your child is the sweetest. The smell of petrichor in the morning after a rain soaked night is the most uplifting. A combo of a book and a blanket is unbeatable in winters. A cup of coffee and meaningless chatter with your colleague during fifteen minutes stolen from your working hours are the highlight of your day. Finding a Rs. 500 banknote in your jeans pocket which had been completely forgotten since the last time you wore it makes you suddenly feel rich. Making a brief eye contact with someone of the opposite sex, even a stranger, in a way that seems to communicate a subtle curiosity at the other end makes you feel the most attractive person on the earth. Blazing through the yellow light you glance in your rear-view to see all the cars behind you stopping at the red light suddenly makes you feel victorious. Seeing a friend trip and stumble around momentarily before regaining his/her footing, then swiftly attempting to play it off like nothing happened can be the most hilarious sight if the moment is right. Finding a parking lot right in front of the store you want to visit makes you believe that it’s your lucky day. Spreading out on fresh clean bed-sheets makes you feel relaxed all of a sudden. Reminiscing about old times with your closest friends makes you feel like a child all over again. Receiving an unexpected compliment can suddenly make your day a whole lot better. Finishing up something that had kept you busy for days feels like a sense of accomplishment. And then nothing ever beats hearing the right song at the right moment. It simply lifts your spirits immediately.

Simple joys of life… Sometimes we need to take time out and appreciate them too.

Life is...

Image Source: Google search

Life is like a song,
Sing it with all your heart.
It doesn’t matter who is listening,
You just need to play your part.

Life is like a dance,
Just sway to the music and beat.
It doesn’t matter who is watching,
As long as there’s excitement in your feet.

Life is like a book,
That you write for yourself.
Others may not even read it,
Just put your story on the shelf.

Learn to live for yourself,
Do what makes you happy.
Just ignore what others have to say,
Their job is just to make you feel crappy.

But once you put on your earplugs,
And sing or dance or write.
Everything wrong in the world,
Just sets itself right.

© Nishtha Khurana, 2018. All rights reserved.

Seven things we can learn from children

Today is Children's Day in India. I have been seeing everyone sharing happy messages of their childhood since morning and it makes me wonder how come we lost all that charm all too soon. I think back and wonder how our childhood was all about innocence and playfulness; about joy and freedom. And yet it all eludes us now as grown ups. So, I grabbed a pen and paper and quickly jotted down what I would like to bring back from my childhood.

I made a list - a list of seven things we adults can learn from children. Here we go:

1. Be happy without reason

Children do not really need any reason to be happy. Just a smile can trigger off a laughathon. Just a touch of the finger-tip can set in a rally of tickling game. A funny scene in a movie can lead to raptures that continue well after the movie is over. A witty comment, a joke is enough to brighten the atmosphere. They don't plan their happiness. They don't think, "I'll be happy when this happens." They just are happy.

2. Forgive and forget

The kids don't keep grudges. They fight, they make-up, and they move on. No kid will remind you weeks later that you fought with me that day and this is what you had said. They won't tell you, "Oh! You hurt me when you did this." They simply get over it. And that is the reason they sleep peacefully.

3. Get over guilt

They make mistakes - as all humans do. They feel sorry too - as all humans do. But just as they don't linger on grudges, they don't linger on guilt either. They move on. They apologise and when the apology is accepted, they forget all about the incident itself. And guess what, they sometimes make the same mistakes again. But at least by harbouring no guilt, they keep the innocence alive.

4. Live in the moment

The children don't dwell in the past. They don't worry about their future. All they are concerned with is their present. They feel the feeling they are having that moment - be it joy, or sorrow, or anxiety, whatever. They just go with the flow! They just have a buoyant free spirit that is not bound by the shackles of past failures and future uncertainties. 

5. Wonder

I have quoted this earlier on numerous occasions and I will quote this again: There are no seven wonders in the eyes of a child; there are seven million. They find something exciting and beautiful in everything they see. The gorging fat caterpillar in the garden gets them all excited. Sitting in a train is an experience to cherish. A yard full of dandelions may seem like weeds to an adult; but to a child, it is a field of beautiful yellow flowers through which he/she can make thousand wishes. A paper boat on water is as wondrous as the huge ship in the sea.

6. Believe in magic

When was the last time you believed that Santa would grant your wish? When was the last time you believed that a four leaved clover will bring you good luck? When we were kids, we would see a pair of sparrows and earnestly believed that we await 'joy' that day. And then we would single out all happy instances during an otherwise normal day and attribute it to the two birds. Simply because we believed in the power of those birds. We believed in fairies and we believed in angels. We believed in magic and we believed in prayer. And all in all, these beliefs made our lives beautiful.

7. Fool around sometimes

Children have the most amazing ability to be carefree and merry. They allow themselves the freedom to appear like a fool. They can jump on the bed or splash into a puddle or even strip down to nothing and run through the neighbourhood without a care in the world. They don't try to be so darn perfect all of the time. And they don't worry about what the onlookers will think or say. Any other person's opinion does not matter as long as they are having fun.

I think sometimes we adults need to revisit our childhood and 'reboot our systems to these default settings' to enjoy life. How about doing it today? How about doing it every year on Children's Day? Let's bring back our inner children out every year this day and enjoy life once again.

Image source: Google image search

Gravity vs. God

A friend today floated a question on Facebook for all his pals. He simply asked, “Are you an atheist?”. The moment I read it, I asked myself, “Am I?” Pat came the answer from within, “If you’re not, why the speck of doubt?” And hence I was forced to think. But, how could I be an aethist? Isn’t aethist defined as “A person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods” (Source: Oxford Dictionary) and I do go to temples, right?

Some days ago, I had read somewhere, “We live on a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire, next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don’t believe in God?” I remember thinking, “That’s Gravity!” My heart argued again, “Sure it is. Gravity keeps us grounded. But, isn’t that what God is also supposed to do?” And then I wondered whether God could be just another name for Gravity? More arguments follow here: Gravity is nothing but a superpower that ensures existence. But then so is God.

I do believe there's a superpower that ensures existence. Whether you call it a God or not, it's up to you. Whether you give him a face - any face - or not, it's up to you. I believe that the power is inside us, it is around us and some people call it Gravity and others call it God. They give it a face and carve it in stone.

I think we humans have a fear of the unknown and the unseen and they do this because it gives them protection against the fear. So, it's okay as long as it gives you peace of mind. What I don't believe in is discriminating each other on the basis of the face we have chosen for our belief. It's worse than kids fighting, “My doll is better and prettier than yours.”

As for the rituals, again they are okay as long as they don't become superstitions. I myself participate in poojas, fast on Navratris and all. But if for any reason, I am not able to do that for once (e.g. this Navratri I am not fasting), it's okay. The God, if he exists, would not judge us anyway.

Follow the Light!!!

Today I came across a wonderful blog – Secret Pearls. This blog features beautiful articles / anecdotes of deriving inspiration or messages from Mother Nature to help solve some of everyday problems. Although I would be introducing the blog in my ‘list’, I would like to share one article from the same which I found exceptionally inspiring. Here it goes:

Summer has arrived in Australia but so have the flies! If you have ever been to Australia in the summer months, you would have noticed what a nuisance these flies can be. No matter how many times you shoo them away, they simply show no fear and lazily return to make themselves at home.

One such pesky fly made himself at home in a packet of almonds that lay open on my kitchen bench top. He had worked his way to the back of the packet and it was only after a few failed attempts to chase him out that I realised the fly was gravitating towards light. You see, the back of the packet was facing towards the bright, sunlit window in my kitchen. As soon as I realised this, I turned the packet around so that the opening faced the window and within seconds the fly was free.

This episode reminded me of a time when my family and I went to explore some caves which are situated about four hours drive away from where we live. Armed with only a torch and hard hat each, we were the only people in the cave at the time, except for a fly which had followed us in. Every time we turned our torches off to experience the thick, still darkness around us, we became aware of the fly’s frantic buzzing around our heads, searching for the light. We thought it rather amusing and told all our friends about the new friend we had made, who followed us all the way in and out of the cave.

Even in the darkest cave Mother Nature shares her wisdom with us. I became very aware of the importance of light in our lives; both light in the physical form and light in the spiritual form. I was pondering on some of the spiritual teachings I have heard relating to ‘following the light’ and was taken back to all my dark hours when I felt alone, sad or troubled. It was almost instinctual for me to follow the light.

I naturally gravitated towards ‘light’ sources such as a loving family member, a walk out in nature, lively music or enjoying a happy movie. I am very grateful that those two small pesky flies happened to come along to remind me to always gravitate towards love and happiness.

If you are experiencing the emptiness of darkness around you, remember life’s lesson about the fly and follow your instincts to a happier, loving life…

Follow the Light!

The winner wolf!!

I pray to God...

I pray to God so kind

To lead me away from the blind
If darkness shrouds me today
I trust it will soon go away
For God is my light
For God is my light

I pray to God so humane
Not to keep me away from trials insane
But to give me strength to fight
The battles with all my might
For God is my strength
For God is my strength

I pray to God so generous
To give me knowledge precious
To guide through the high tide

To help towards prosperity stride

For God is my wisdom

For God is my wisdom

I pray to God so benign
To let me win hearts divine
To make me amiable and humble
Affectionate, benevolent, gracious and gentle
For God is my tolerance
For God is my tolerance

The Art of being happy!!

We all talk about being happy and remaining happy. We tell others to do so all the time. But then, how does one remain happy? What constitutes happiness? And, what can one do to be and remain happy?


Okay, if you are wondering why I am stating all these questions here today, then the reason is a small get-together I had with my cousins. It was not a festive occasion and we had not planned the get-together. A close relative had expired after a prolonged incapacitation. Of course we were sad but our hearts also went out to him for whom it was a peaceful end to misery. Now, we cousins just sat together discussing a lot of things when one of them mentioned her and her family’s association with the ISKCON Temple. She told us how the teachings of Shri Bhagwat Geeta, being popularized by the people associated with the Temple, have brought changes in their lives. She said that the entire family; she, her husband, her two lovely daughters and an infant son, her sister-in-law; all of them have gained from the teachings and that now they are much more at peace with themselves and feel the happiness within.

That got me thinking how spirituality or religion can make someone happy. She sought and got happiness in the teachings of Geeta and in volunteering to further spread them to other people. But, is it necessary to go to Temples and listen to sermons to ensure happiness within? Another of my relative, my Bhabhi, finds solace and happiness in the teachings of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, ‘The Art of Living’. She too has taken an initiative of spreading the teachings to others through prayer songs. It brings her happiness, joy and revelry.

Then again there is a different set of people I often come across. People who go clubbing, attend parties and enjoy dancing at discotheques are quite in number. Some drink and have fun, with (or at times without) friends. They say they find happiness in that. They don’t find the same feeling by drowning themselves in the God’s spirit. They live for the day and don’t worry about their future. Most of them are doing well in their personal lives, they spend lavishly and tend to forget their career and family related tensions in their loud, grand and feisty idea of having fun. To them this is being happy and blissful.

Yet others find joys of reading, travelling, listening to music and, in short, pursuing their interests and hobbies as means to gain happiness. They take time out for themselves and do what they like. For that moment, they too forget their troubles and drown themselves in their own blissful corner of enchanting thoughts. Does that mean pursuing one’s own interests brings happiness? Or ignoring everything else, including family, friends and work means the person is rather being self-centered?

This makes me think again. And thought I have. It made me conclude that happiness is basically a choice that we make for ourselves. Somewhere deep down we decide for ourselves how we want to be happy. We ourselves, consciously or sub-consciously, choose our source of happiness. Be it the spiritual or the worldly pleasures. The source of people’s happiness is basically a choice they have made for themselves. Now, I would refrain from saying which is a better choice because that again should not be my prerogative. Besides, every individual is entitled to make his/her decisions and choices: to each his own.

I can only say about my choices. I too have chosen to be happy. But, to be happy neither have I chosen to open a virtual spiritual door (not yet at least) nor have I adopted a devil-may-care attitude and resorted to ‘worldly pleasures’. Instead, I have chosen not to delve on the past and rather work on my present and look forward towards my future. I will not think about what my future could have been had my past been different. (Please note I use different and not better). I revel in the company of my most wonderful family and precious friends. I find happiness in simple pleasures like spending time with my daughter and mom; catching up with my sisters, going shopping and to restaurants; chatting with my friends (on phone, messengers, mails and even SNSs); and having work on my hands to accomplish. Once in a while I do enjoy pursuing my interests and likes. But, all in all, I rejoice in what I have accomplished in my life till now; I pride in my personal growth; and I look forwards to challenges lying ahead (even if to test myself and know how well I may be able to handle them). Every day, I celebrate my existence and I love my being. THAT makes ME happy. THAT is what I choose for myself.

May God bless the departed souls!

A few days ago, two major tragedies struck India. Two accidents, gruesome in their nature, took away numerous lives: The Mangalore Plane crash and the Bihar Train derailing. My heart goes out to the departed souls; may they rest in peace. My prayers are with their families; may they find comfort in their hours of grief. Death is inevitable eventually, but the suddenness of parting with near and dear ones, moreover hale and hearty joyously bubbling people, pierces ones heart apart. But such is fate and we cannot fight it out. In God’s will we must abide and in his mercy we must rejoice.

I would like to put down a small prayer for all the departed souls:

When sorrow comes, as come it must,
In God a man must place his trust.
There is no power in mortal speech
The anguish of his soul to reach,
No voice, however sweet and low,
Can comfort him or ease the blow.


He cannot from his fellow men
Take strength that will sustain him then.
With all that kindly hands will do,
And all that love may offer, too,
He must believe throughout the test
That God has willed it for the best.

We who would be his friends are dumb;
Words from our lips but feebly come;
We feel, as we extend our hands,
That one Power only understands
And truly knows the reason why
So beautiful a soul must die.


We realize how helpless then
Are all the gifts of mortal men.
No words which we have power to say
Can take the sting of grief away -
That Power which marks the sparrow's fall
Must comfort and sustain us all.

When sorrow comes, as come it must,
In God, a man must place his trust.
With all the wealth which he may own,
He cannot meet the test alone,
And only he may stand serene
Who has a faith on which to lean.

- Edgar A. Guest

… because life’s all about being happy!

Over the last few days, I have observed a change in myself. There’s no denying that I have challenges in front of me, and that the same have been there for quite some time now; but, there is a new vigour to take them head on now. Sub-consciously, I have decided to take charge of my life. I have decided to move on. I don’t hide behind lies anymore. Now, I don’t feel ashamed to come out and speak the truth. It’s a new found freedom. And I’m loving it.

I feel a renewed strength somewhere. I am sure it has always been there but its resurgence now is very opportune. My self-confidence is at its peak and I hope I can channelize it well. I believe in God and I trust that if God gets you to it, he will get you through it. So, I am prepared for the challenges facing me. What I am not prepared for is giving up. And at the end of the dark tunnel, I see a golden light – the light of redemption. I will not let sadness hold my way now. My past is gone, I will not let it mar my future anymore.

They say, strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strength. When you go through hardship and decide not to surrender, that is strength. I have made a decision, a resolution. I will be strong, come what may. I will not give up. If I have to put up a fight, it’s going to be a hard fight for sure. At the end then, it won’t matter if I win or lose. Life’s all about being happy. And I have now decided to be happy. Always.

I remind myself then, some precious words by Robert Frost:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep.
And miles to go before I sleep.
And miles to go before I sleep.

Vrindavan - Maa Vaishnodevi Statue

Clicked this picture on a recent trip to Vrindavan. The statue is far more prettier in reality than on Camera.

Life's Lesson

I learn, as the years roll onward
And I leave the past behind,
That much I had counted sorrow
But proved that God is kind;
That many a flower I'd longed for
Had hidden a thorn of pain
And many a rugged bypath
Led to the fields of ripened grain.
The clouds that cover the sunshine;
They cannot banish the sun,
And the earth shines out the brighter
When the weary rain is done.
We must stand in the deepest shadow
To see the clearest light;
And often through wrong's own darkness
Comes the welcome strength of Right.


- Anonymous

The song that touches the soul

Have you ever come across a song that has really touched you? Well, when I say ‘really touched you’, I mean ‘really, really touched you – deep inside – as if struck a chord’. Well, I have. Some months ago, maybe over a year, there was this song I heard for the first time on a FM station on my car stereo. I was touched. I was moved. It was a sufi song and I felt that it resonated in words exactly the way I feel about God.


Well, I am basically a spiritual person. I mean I do believe in the supreme power of God so much that I feel he can do anything and no miracle is impossible if he wills. I feel that whatever way my life takes is guided by him and he has thought of something wonderful for me. Even if something happens that makes me miserable, God has made it happen for a purpose and that something good will surely come out of it sometime in future. I believe that nothing bad can happen to me because I try my best to keep my heart pure and true, never harm anyone intentionally and help others on every possible opportunity. Hence, God will take care of me as his own child. I would say I am religious, but I certainly don’t believe in stereotypes (e.g. one should go to a temple everyday; and like if you worship in the temple, you have to cover your head, do this and do that) because I believe that God is looking for faith in our hearts and not stereotypes. I also have ultimate faith in one deity but I also respect all Gods and religions and believe that one should have faith, and one may direct it towards any or many Gods.

Well, so much for my spiritualism. I will come back to my original idea now - the song that really touched my soul. I just heard it and I listened intently to find out any clue: movie, singer, etc. But, as it happens on Delhi’s various radio stations, they just play the song without telling you anything about it. The song kept ringing inside me for hours. Late that night, I sat on the internet and looked that out. It took me some time as it belonged to a movie that was not being marketed like the typical big budget movies. It was a small budget movie that gained publicity more through word-of-mouth and critic accolades for its lead actor. The song was “Ha raham” from the movie “Aamir”. (People tell me it’s a wonderful movie with a stellar performance by Rajeev Khandelwal, though I am yet to see it).

The song has some kind of a ringing quality in it, like a haunting and echoing feeling. Or, maybe it’s just my perception because I have connected to it in a special way. The lyrics have a much deeper meaning. I still get moved by it every time I hear it, even after hearing it for months now.

I am putting in the lyrics of the song here. Do tell me if you too feel the connection I feel.

aani jaani… hai kahaani…
bulbule si… zindgaani…
banti kabhi bigadti…
tez hawa se ladti, bhidti…

ha raham, ha raham, farma ae Khuda…
mehfuz har kadam karna ae Khuda…

saanson ki sooti… dor anoothi…
jal jayegi… jal jayegi…
band jo laaye the, haath ki muthhi…
khul jayegi… khul jayegi…

kya gumaan kare kayaa ye ujlee…
mitti mein mil jayegi..
chaahe jitni shamaayein raushan kar le…
dhoop to dhal jayegi, jayegi…

ha raham, ha raham, farma ae Khuda…
mehfuz har kadam karna ae Khuda…

sone chamak mein, sikko khanak mein…
milta nahi… milta nahi…
dhool ke zarron mein, dhoonde koi tu…
milta wahin… milta wahin…

kya majaal teri marzee ke aage…
bando ki chal jayegi…
thaame ungli jo tu kathputli ki…
chaal badal jayegi, jayegi..

ha raham, ha raham, farma ae Khuda…
mehfuz har kadam karna ae Khuda…