The first lesson in countering oppression

Oppression, tormentation and mental trauma – these are the atrocities being meted out to women folk since ages. Many women face the harassment at the very places of their existence – at home, at work. The relativity or the degree varies, just as the perception of today's folks. E.g. a newly married bride when restricted to go out per her own will by her husband and in-laws; there could be two kinds of reaction depending on the woman's background. If the bride is an uneducated (or having only basic education and literacy) woman belonging to a society where she has seen her mother and sisters, sister-in-laws being meted out with similar treatment; she is likely to accept it as granted and keep quite. Then again, if the bride is a fairly educated girl from a reasonable background who has grown up in an equal opportunity world / environment; she is likely to term it as suppression and denial of her freedom which she obviously knows is her birth right; which is actually every person's birth right. For one it might be a minor issue which can better be ignored to maintain peace and tranquility at home; while for another it is an incident which should be voiced against at the very outset to make it known to her family that she has an equal place and an equal right to her freedom as any man or, for that matter, woman (say, the mother-in-law) in the house.

Some girls do make a mistake in tackling situations like these (and even much more serious issues leading to domestic discords in the families). I personally feel that if you really feel you are being oppressed or curtailed in any manner, at least speak out once and make your feelings known even if the other family members may agree to disagree with you. Now, I am not here promoting extreme feminism by preaching girls to take up arms against your family or shout back and vent your anger towards the other party. But, "dislikes" can certainly be expressed positively, politely, without shouting back or disgracing your upbringing by using any kind of foul language. Don't we often abstain from doing certain things which people around you (at home, at work, etc.) dislike. Similarly, the first expectation in simple expression of "dislike" towards a certain thing, action or behavior would be an abstention by the other person in subjecting you to what you dislike. Many a problems can be tackled here; for one must understand that just as keeping quite about it is not a solution, neither is shouting your frustration out. Both the scenarios increase the problem in the long run.

In case such things do not yield desired results then other things may be tried. I am not a marriage councilor to tell you extreme measures, but remember every personal battle is important and small battles won initially reduce the possibility of an uncalled-for- oppression.