The Padmaavat debate is going in the wrong direction

I haven’t seen the movie Padmaavat yet, but after what I have heard and read in reviews I am confused whether I should even go and watch it, especially since even my 11 year old daughter is interested in it. I don't have a problem with the war scenes and I think I can explain to her the scenes showing a ruthless Alauddin Khilji. What I do have a problem with is the romanticization of Jauhar. Apparently, all they discuss related to Jauhar and why Rani Padmavati chose to do it is about her faithfulness to her husband (she asks his permission to commit Jauhar) and the Rajputi pride, honour and ‘usool’. There is no mention at all of the brutal consequences that Rani Padmavati would have faced if she would have been captured alive by Khilji.

There are a few debates going around this movie. The first one and the more well-known one involves Karni Sena. Honestly, I am lost here because I do not even understand what problem they have with the movie. From what I understand, the movie is solely about the grandeur and opulence of the Rajput kingdoms and about their valour, honour and pride. Now, my question is that does Karni Sena, which claims to protect and hail exactly the same, does not want the country and the world to witness their culture, heritage and everything else? I really do not understand why else would they protest against this movie. And so I will not venture into this further. I will also not comment on what is the real history because, in my personal opinion, it is but a documentation of legends that had fallen down from various generations. Some incidents may have different interpretations as communicated by different people to further generations. Everything should be accepted, yet with a pinch of salt.

The painting of Maharani Padmavati 

performing Jauhar as displayed in the

Maharana Pratap Memorial in Udaipur

(Source: Google search)

Then there are some thoughts shared by Swara Bhaskar in an amazingly worded open letter to Sanjay Leela Bhansali. One of my friends, Radhika, expressed similar thoughts on her blog. Though I agree to every word of what they said, I will refrain from commenting whether Rani Padmavati was right in committing Jauhar or not. What Swara and Radhika say are pertinent and true for the current age and times. But Rani Padmavati lived in a different age and a different era. The customs, sentiments and principles of that age were different. Human race evolves over time. New sentiments and new principles evolve and are accepted and it should be so. Jauhar and Sati were regressive and sexist practices and have been rightly done away so. What is important is that it should have been made clear in the movie that they were old age archaic practices and have been rightly done away with. The movie instead glorifies Jauhar and that is where I have an issue. When you showcase a part of history on the screen, at least put the right facts there. Those ladies did not commit Jauhar because they wanted to prove their valour. They did not commit Jauhar because they were too proud to face defeat for their community. And they definitely did not commit Jauhar because they did not want to live without their husbands. They committed Jauhar because they did not want to face what they knew were a determined fate in the face of their army’s loss – rape, torture and the brutality of Khilji and his army.

I don't understand why people are even discussing rape here. It's not about rape; and yes I do believe that rape is not the end of the world for a woman and life is much more precious. The discussion here should be more about sex slavery vs. death. To set the record straight, I am also not saying that it was better to choose death over sex slavery. I am saying that there is a difference between rape and sex slavery. I am saying that the Rajput women including Rani Padmavati made a choice and chose death over sex slavery. But that choice aspect and the other option if not death, should have been brought out clearly in the movie, which I have heard has not been done. The fact is that Padmavati's Jauhar did take place and she chose death. Obviously when you are presenting a historical fact (irrespective of creative liberties), you will not present that Rani Padmavati chose life or chose to fight (which some debaters allege that she should have done). But her decision should have been presented in the right perspective - that she chose death over sex slavery or inclusion into Khilji's harem. It shouldn't have been presented as something that she did out of love for her husband or because she was a brave 'pativrata stree'.

In reality, Padmavati's Jauhar has more deep rooted relevance than just honour and pride. It’s more to do with war plunder and how the ruthless winning armies take to brutalizing women in a show of power. The women captured were raped, enslaved and brutally treated as a mark of humiliation and for gross display of power and conquests. For some reason, devastation of cities and loot of wealth is never enough for the wining armies to show their dominance over the losing side. They make the humiliation more personal by ravaging their women and making them sex slaves. This is the deepest mark of patriarchy where they demonstrate their dominance over the women. After all, they want to prove to the men over whom they won that now we control what you have controlled all this while… your subjectives (read women). It’s like saying, “You were their ‘protectors’ once but now see what we will do to them.” And it's not just true for history. It's happening right now too in various parts of the world. It had happened in India-Pakistan during Partition, in the World Wars, in Vietnam, in Iraq, in Afghanistan, and loads of other wars… every war. Even today, ISIS is a real example. I have read horrifying stories of Yazidi women who have escaped the clutches of ISIS. Girls as young as 9 years old are raped and sexually abused by multiple partners. They are tortured and sold like cattle. The details are horrific beyond imagination. True, they did not commit Jauhar and probably they did not even have a choice to do so even when they feel like giving up. True, that they have hope against hope that someday they will escape the clutches of their captors. Some have been lucky too. But, no one would deny that it is a horrific state to be in. And your fault? As Swara and Radhika would put it… They have a Vagina.

If only Sanjay Leela Bhansali would have had the guts to bring this out instead of trying to appease the Rajputs and the Karni Sena with his glorious representation of Rajput pride.

Gratitude for teaching me humility

All my friends know that I did the #100sareepact in 2015. I did not repeat it but I did join many sarees related Facebook groups to help me gain knowledge of the country's vast handloom heritage. One of the Facebook groups, called Kai Thari (now its settings have been changed to a "secret group") with about 12,000 members had an ex-admin doing a wonderful job to revive the extinct Goan Handloom weave of Kunbi sarees. It was a crowd funded initiative where ladies paid for the saree upfront and then she worked with about 6 weavers to get the orders fulfilled. I was one of the participants but, to be honest, my experience wasn't exactly great. That is so because despite the good intentions, humility is not a virtue that this lady possessed. So I decided to quit the group and this is my goodbye post. 

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Hi fellow Kai Tharians,

I finally received my Kunbi saree and I am overjoyed. But it also means that now it is time to bid goodbye to this group. Initially when I joined here, it did seem quite fun. I have come in touch with many wonderful ladies through this group only and for that I will be eternally grateful. However, gradually I have realized that this group is one of the most commercialized groups I have ever seen, run very smoothly and yet very shrewdly by a cartel of women. What is more disturbing is that it runs on the principle of monopoly. So as long as you are publicizing anything related to Spoorthi or Spandana, you are welcome with open arms but everything else is prohibited and can get you barred. I realized that over time. But by then I was stuck with my Kunbi order already placed. Yes, I was waiting for my Kunbi, sometimes maybe not as patiently as the others in this group. But before I leave, I would like to clarify my position here and justify being referred to as a "detractor". I, along with some other women who followed up on their Kunbi orders, have been attacked on this very open forum and I feel it is justified to get one opportunity to put my side of the story. 

1. I don't mind paying for sarees in advance and getting them made on order, I have done that before and will continue to do so even in the future. But then one should be realistic with the timelines and state them properly upfront. When you say 8-12 weeks and then don't even bother to share any updates for months, it's not polite and it definitely is not professional (you may argue that you are not a business person but then honestly you were behaving exactly like one). The best you could have done is state upfront at the time of taking orders that the sarees will take about 6-8 months before delivery. You recently mentioned that you keep your word or else let the other person know. Then maybe I am an exception because I never got a concrete answer. 

2. When someone's order is delayed, it is natural for them to follow up on the status. Which is exactly what I and some other people you refer to as your detractors were doing. The least you can do is be polite, apologize for the delay and give them a realistic and practical revised delivery date. However, instead of doing any of that, you were as near to the point of being rude as possible. After all, how could anyone even question you regarding such a noble work that you are doing? Right?

3. Your update posts can be neutral generic and simplistic posts explaining the delay. However, your posts were exactly not like these. They were sob stories of how much effort you are putting in and how you are tracking lost packages and handling lacs of money in your account and explaining to tax authorities and so on and so forth. People who do good work for the sake of goodness, do not make sob stories and gather sympathies. You have no idea what charitable initiatives others are running too. But they can easily make out the excuses because they have dealt with all these issues though not cried publicly. We appreciate all the good work you are doing but for the sake of the weavers at least, try not to turn it into a sob story. 

4. Some people have less patience than others. If you commit on 8 - 12 weeks and if after 6 months they have not received their product, they have every right to ask for a refund. (Wait... Just to set the record straight for other people reading this, I wasn't one of those people who had asked for a refund but I do understand their mindset.) And if you are agreeing to give them a refund, you are not doing them any favor. Also, please don't say that you are offering them a refund OUT OF YOUR OWN POCKET, because these people have already trusted your pocket with their full payment in advance. They are asking for THEIR OWN money and not yours.

5. It's nice to know that Management schools are asking you to share your experience about the crowd funded initiative. It's also nice that government bodies are coming to you to get Kunbi bags. It's great for the initiative and the weavers to get that kind of exposure. I have always admired your marketing skills and the latest example were your own recent posts with blue Kunbi prepping up customers for your next batch of orders. I only hope there would have been a more two way exchange at the management school and that they would have shared with you not just how to attract customers but also how to retain them by treating them with respect. 

6. If someone discusses the status of their delayed orders among their trusted friends (who unfortunately were not so trustworthy because they feel better gossiping the words said right into your ears) and say that they are not happy about it, they are not BITCHING. They have every right to say that they are unhappy about their delayed order. But somehow this word is a favourite among our Superwoman here and her admin buddies and is freely used. Let me tell you loud and clear that THE WORD REEKS OF SEXISM and is not appreciated by many ladies here. So, please mind your tongue.

7. You have every right to think that the people who are not happy with delayed orders are your detractors. Please feel free to boost your ego with the thoughts that you have followers and you have dissenters. You might as well have named them instead of saying "you know who you are" and then putting a big picture of their packages in full display. But you had no right to put their address and phone numbers on full display in those pics WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION. I didn't say anything then because luckily for me only my name was visible but there were others whose address and phone numbers were visible too and they did point out and you were requested to take down the pic. Despite the request, you boosted your own ego by continuing with the pic after blackening out the address and phone number. Nevertheless, just so that you know, this is a clear case of cyber crime, invasion of privacy, reportable under IT Act, 2000 for category - insecure electronic transmissions whereby uniquely identifiable data relating to a person is collected and stored, in digital form and shared with or without permission. Hope you are a little more thoughtful next time in taking out your uncalled for vengeance.

8. I work for a NBFC and one of our entities is involved in P2P financing. The only difference between P2P financing and crowd funding is that the in case of former, the projects go through due diligence and customers through underwriting whereas latter is totally based on trust on both sides. For everything else they are the same. Let me tell you also that we allow customers to have grievances and even allow them to take their money out if they are not satisfied with the performance of the project. And we certainly do not crucify them publicly for asking questions. Nobody here had criticized you publicly. Yes, people had private conversations but I and other people were not bad mouthing you or the initiative in any forum whatsoever. On the contrary, you were the only one venting out venom on KT. And despite that we continued to maintain a dignified silence. Please go through the forum or any of your post and tell me a single comment that pointed fingers at you. It's only the people who have been worshiping you who commented and not your so called detractors. 

Having said that, many thanks for your gratitude post. Trust me I reciprocate it equally to you. You have taught me some very valuable lessons about how a humble person should not behave and how you must not treat people who have trusted you. 

There have been a few other issues also here but for now, I will restrict myself to the above mentioned points. Also, I am aware that this post of mine will probably not see the day at least in the Kai Thari group or will be taken down soon enough if I even manage to post it. But it's okay. There are other places where I can get my voice across.

And despite all this I would still wish you and all your blind worshipers, who have relegated you to this God-like status and filled you with this fruitless pride, all the best. Nevertheless, I do hope that one day you step back on earth and start treating the lesser mortals like us as equal fellow humans and gives us some well deserved respect. We are anyways in minority in this group and I have always failed to understand why you even bothered about us at all.

As for me, I am still going to cherish my Kunbi and revel in its coming back to the mainstream through your and a few other hardworking people's appreciable efforts. 

Adieu!! Sayonara!! Good Bye!!