Divorce rates are rising everywhere... And that's a good thing!

It is no surprise that the divorce rates have shot up over the last 60 years ever since the Hindu Code Bill was passed in the 1950s. The latest census statistics, which allow the people to select one of the options, namely, never married, separated, divorced, widowed, married; tell us that the number of divorced people have grown exponentially in the said period. Moreover, there are even a higher number of people who have chosen their status as separated. This status can be attributed to people in the middle of divorce proceedings (considering the time taken in litigation in the slow-moving Indian courts) or to the people living separately but not opting for divorce because of the stigma associated with same. This is taking into account that some people may not even report separation or divorce because the society still looks down at such marital statuses.

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Yes, that's true. The society looks down at the divorced status (even more than the separated status). There are always discussions and arguments like how our grandparents and parents "worked through" their problems and did not simply opt for divorce. And the good old Indian morals come into the picture where our own dear country is concerned. Our upholders of 'sanskaar' and the older generations in our families claimed that the divorce rates in India are low because of our great family values and morals. And now they rue that the divorce rates are increasing because there is a conspicuous decline in these values.

A lot of people act like higher divorce rates are actually indicative of a loss of morality, ethics and a sense of commitment and responsibility. The people proclaiming our great values and ethics lament and blame the phenomenon on 'westernization'. They claim that families are breaking down because people have no patience to give their marriages a chance. But the truth, in my opinion, is entirely something else.

The truth in my opinion is that in the older generation, people "worked through" their problems in private because women just continued to "adjust" and bear with what was metted to them. The women hand no financial and social security; no incomes and assets; and hence did not have any option or choice but to 'work it out'. Add to it the social stigma attached to the status of divorce. So, they simply chose to continue living in abusive and unhealthy relationships for the lack of options, for the sake of their children, or to stay away from the social stigma of divorce. It was actually all about keeping up appearances. Honestly, how is it possible to have a healthy marriage if someone feels disrespected or insulted by their partners more often than not?

But the rising divorce rates in my opinion is actually a sign of social and economic progress of women and greater autonomy now enjoyed by women. It means that fewer women are dependent on men and can decide for themselves what they want their life to be. With education and awareness to back them, women are now breaking free of the rule that told them to stay quiet in front of a man. More and more women are becoming financially independent and don't rely on their husbands, or anyone else, for survival. Even if kids are involved, women are now able to earn and take care of them, if required. With this financial independence comes a stronger sense of self-confidence and the ability to walk out of a bad marriage. Higher divorce rates actually mean that women are leaving abusive and unhealthy relationships at higher rates. It means that women are finally standing up for themselves because now they can. How can that be a bad thing really?

The stigma won't go away overnight, but the least we can do is stop pretending that Indian values, morality, ethics and our culture are being threatened by an increasing divorce rate.