Trivialising 'Rape': The joke's on us!

Salman Khan has stirred up a controversy again. In a recent interview where he wanted to publicise his upcoming movie Sultan, he had this to say about the rigorous training schedule he followed, "When I used to walk out of the ring, after the shoot, I used to feel like a raped woman. I couldn’t walk straight. I would eat and then, head right back to training. That couldn’t stop."

This is one of the most disgusting statements I have heard. The trauma, the stigma, the feeling of desperateness and invasion of privacy, and the humiliation that comes with being a rape survivor is something no one can understand, least of all a privileged rich brat with a history of abuse and other criminal offences. Rape jokes aren't funny, nor is using the word raped as an adjective for a training that he chose to do in a film that will only make money for him and get him more fanatical respect from his fans, neither of which he actually deserves.

He did not stop there as he continued to describe "women" as a "vice" he is unable to quit. "Leave every second vice in your list – that’s the mantra I follow. And I have left everything one by one. When it was between coffee and cigarettes, I quit coffee. Between cigarettes and drinks, I quit the stick. Between the drinks and women, I have chosen women. Ab iske baad duniya chhod do." How saintly is that? Leaving all "vices" except "women"? But then you can't expect anything better from Salman Khan. After all he is a brain-dead, woman beating, human and animal killer who thrives on egotism of being worshipped as a cult. He's only being human. He's the Bhai. He's special.

And guess what? There are still thousands of fans out there who are justifying his statement; a disgusting statement for which he did not even apologize. His father apologized on his behalf saying he has been misunderstood. He has definitely been misunderstood by his fans who fail to see what a prick he is. People who think that Salman Khan is really just a misunderstood adorable pumpkin. They think that Salman bhai is embroiled in controversy yet again because the media has nothing better to do except call out problematic statements by influential stars. Them, jobless media people. While the world may be against this adorable fluffy little unicorn, who graces the world with his unmatched wisdom every time he opens his mouth, they totally support him. No matter what happens, these people are going to stand by him. Good idea... Because standing in front of him might get them killed.

But then, is it only about Salman Khan? Are the people around us any better? May be not all of them are sexist and misogynist little chums but there are definitely many people - both men and women - who trivialise grave issues like rape. Our politicians are living examples as they time and again come up with awesome examples of senseless and insensitive comments about rape. And why only them? There are many instances where the educated young people have trivialised rape.

I remember the Brazil vs Germany football match on 8 July 2014 at the Estádio Mineirão in Belo Horizonte, Brazil where Germany crushed Brazil with a 7-1 defeat. The match was such a shocker. However, for me, the dismay wasn’t because Brazil lost (it’s only a game after all, and countries win and lose all the time; it’s nothing new), it was more so due to the reaction elicited among many fans, especially over social media. They went so far as to state the most despicable of all metaphors in existence, "Germany raped Brazil". This inappropriate metaphor was especially ubiquitous over Twitter, where many people unabashedly and deliberately used the term rape over and over again. One only had to type the aforementioned phrase in the search bar to be suddenly bombarded with hundreds and thousands of repugnant tweets. And the most insensitive ones were followed by laughing smileys and "HAHAHA"s. What was more disturbing was how very liberal and educated and thinking people went about sharing these jokes and metaphors which seemed to make rape seem lighthearted and funny.

Don't we all need to retain some perspective? Rape is never funny. It's a barbaric act of violence against someone. For days the question kept bothering me - since when did rape become a referral to something good? Something positive? I understood that the people who used this reference meant to use it in the context that it was intended to be used; to mean that Germany was so good, talented and so powerful that they "raped" Brazil, which obviously meant that Brazil was the "weaker" team. After all, isn’t that exactly how "being raped" works? A powerful individual forces himself on a weaker individual, snatching and taking whatever he wants using threats and violence, leaving the victim helpless and humiliated.

What was and is even more disconcerting is that there are many who completely dismiss this crude metaphor by calling it a mere "joke" and making it seem like "it’s not a big deal" at all. How is it not a big deal when sexual violence, especially against women, is highly prevalent in the entire world? Every country of the world can demonstrate shameful statistics for sexual assaults against one half of their society. How much more repulsive does this need to get? 

I personally believe that the issue with people using the term "rape" so carelessly and heartlessly - as a joke or a metaphor or an adjective - is that they either aren’t aware or have deliberately turned a blind eye to the poignant problem of the prevailing rape culture and the fact that it's not only prevalent in India but all over the world. Rape is not a joke and should never be treated as such. So, to all you people who constantly use or have used the term "rape" to refer to something "positive", don’t use it! It’s not funny and it does not by any means sound cool. It also certainly does not demonstrate the "hard work that you need to put into something". You can argue all you want and tell me that rape in the contexts used as above doesn’t sound bad, but the truth is that it does. It sounds very ugly and dehumanising. Besides, there are far better and more appropriate words that could have been used instead to describe Germany's win against Brazil or the agonising drill Salman Khan had to go through. Rape, however, is not and never will be one of them.

I am my father’s daughter

From simple things like loving songs with Punjabi flavour,

Image Source: Google search

To securing a seat behind the wheel;
From not spending the weekends at home,
To enjoying a sumptuous Indian meal.
My likes and dislikes are same as his;
So are my quirks.
I am my father’s daughter,
And for me it works.

They tell me I am a strong person.
They tell me I am a fighter.
They tell me I don’t get stirred,
Even when my challenges get tougher.
They don’t know this yet,
But I can tell them now.
I am my father’s daughter,
They won’t be surprised if they knew.

Never the one to back-off,
Never the one to fear.
No matter what lies ahead;
Bring it on, my dear.
That was the kind of man he was,
That is what I aspire to.
I am my father’s daughter,
And a damn proud one too.

© Nishtha Khurana, 2016. All rights reserved.

Let’s change the way the world treats daughters AND SONS!

I am a daughter too. But I was given a beautiful environment to grow up in. I was never ever made to feel any different from anyone else. There is a difference when someone is brought up in a secure and loved environment. I grew up to be an independent person who looked at everyone with an equal eye. And as I was growing up, I thought it was so everywhere but reality is so different. Because then I came out of the shelter and walked the streets of my city. 

Any girl who has ever walked the streets of a city (any city and not just the ones in India though the Indian cities are quite notorious) will understand what ‘prowling eyes’ mean and even what groping feels like. I am sure every woman in any part of the world has encountered that flasher when they travel to school or have been greeted with catcalls when they have gone anywhere unescorted. Even I did. Then there were those who would accidentally brush past you. If anyone mustered the courage to complain, they would look at you with a glint in the eye and have the guts to say, ‘Go on, tell everyone what happened’. It is disgusting.

Girls are asked a thousand questions, boys are not asked to explain anything. Don’t you think it’s time to change that? I would say that the need to feel safe is everyone’s right. No one is anyone’s property. And no one should be made to feel that way either. We need to start doing things differently. First and foremost, talk about eve teasing and groping openly. No one should hesitate to ‘tell everyone what happened’. And everyone needs to tell the girls so. Tell them that it is alright to not take harassment face down. Tell them that it is those who harass you who should feel ashamed and not you. Children learn by observing adult behaviour. Gender stereotypes have to be broken right then.

And most importantly, have a conversation with your sons. An open and honest conversation. Explain to them the concept of consent. Tell them that it’s not ‘cool’ to lust at girls. Respecting them is much ‘cooler’ – respecting them just as they respect fellow boys. Tell them catcalls will not get them anywhere worthy in life. Tell them that all human beings are equal and have equal place in the sun. Don’t we all tell all this to our daughter’s nowadays? Why can’t we tell the same thing to our sons?

As Gloria Steinem puts it, “We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.” That exactly is the need of the hour.

Let’s change the way the world treats daughters AND SONS!

Standard Procedure: Harass Divorced People

Disclaimer: I am not sure whether divorced males also go through the same harassment. For all I know, they might. Hence, I am keeping this article as gender neutral as possible. However, I must warn you that since it is based on my personal experiences, some people might find it reeking with ‘Feminism’.

Situation 1

After being forced to include my 'spouse's name' in my passport just two months before my mutual consent divorce at the time of renewal, I was now faced with a situation where I had to get it removed now that the divorce was finalized. Because of the harrowing experience I had had with the authorities, I had managed to procrastinate and put it off as much as I could, but I realized that I had to eventually get it done. I found out about an agent who helped with anything related to passport. So, basically he charged me a fee and he filled my application, paid passport fee, secured an appointment and arranged my documents (read checked whether I have arranged all required documents). I handed him my documents in the third week of February.

Me: How long does this take? I am asking because I will have to travel sometime in last week of May and will also need time for Visa.

Agent: Oh! May is too far yet. The process nowadays is very quick. I’ll arrange your appointment within a week, and we will apply for a "post-verification". So, you will have your passport within 4 days of your appointment. The police verification will keep on happening later.

The sly agent then kept making excuses and only managed an appointment for 11th April.

Me: Isn't it too close for travel? What if there's a delay?

Agent: Naa, naa! You don’t worry! I know people there. We will apply for a "post-verification". So, you will have your passport within 4 days of your appointment.

So, I went for my appointment. Luckily, contrary to my previous experience, the appointment went very smoothly. I expected some nasty questions about my divorce but there were absolutely none. I was happy about the whole routine; until I got the acknowledgement for my application, that is, for my acknowledgement clearly mentioned "pre-verification". Almost panicking, I called my agent who very conveniently hadn't even shown up at the 'Passport Seva Kendra' (PSK) that day.

Me: Madan* ji, my acknowledgement says "pre-verification". I thought you applied for "post-verification".

Agent: Naa naa ji, I cannot choose that option while applying. They themselves decide.

Me: But, what do we do now? I have to travel in the last week of May and I will need 15-20 days for the Visa as well.

Agent: Oh ho, don't worry! Just relax! Nowadays passports come well before 30 days. You'll have enough time for the Visa.

Me: That's okay. But what if it doesn't? I don’t want to be tethered to the hook till the last minute.

Agent: Nothing like that would happen. I am there naa? I will get everything sorted.

As it happened, my passport did not come back till 40 days and while my agent blissfully gave me excuses and stories, I was running between Police Station to Passport Verification Cell in the Commissioner's office and pleading just about anyone for expediting the process including the very efficient and tech-savvy MEA and RPO on twitter. (Well, a short note of thanks to them who eventually printed and dispatched me the passport within hours after police verification report was submitted.) All this while, I called my agent at least thrice everyday only to have the same conversation every time.

Me: Madan ji, what’s the status?

Agent: Ma'am, the status is same. The police verification report is pending.

Me: Please do something. I need my passport.

Agent: Ma'am, what can I do? I have no control over the police verification report.

Me: You got me into it. You filed the application so late and then you didn't even get it in "post-verification" like you promised.

Agent: I never promised "post-verification". Your case is not even eligible for "post-verification".

Me: What do you mean?

Agent: Ma'am, divorce cases never go for "post-verification" or "tatkal". They only go for "pre-verification".

Me: What? What stupidity is that? What does my divorce have to do with police verification? The police will not check my marital status. They only ask for address proof, identity proof and signatures of two neighbours stating that I live where I say I live.

Agent: I know ma'am. But it is always so in legal matters.

Me: Legal matters? There is no legal matter here. It's all sorted and I have submitted a decree of divorce from a competent court as part of my documents. Am I some criminal or what?

Agent: I can understand ma'am. But it is what it is. Divorce cases never go for "post-verification" or "tatkal". That’s standard procedure.

Seething with fury, I shut up because I knew that nothing could be done now. What hurts is that not only I am being harassed because I am divorced, but even my child is not "eligible" to get her passport under "post-verification" or "tatkal" ever because of her parent’s marital status. And she didn't even choose our divorce. But, that is standard procedure. 

Situation 2

The very next day of getting my passport in hand, I apply for the business visa. The guidelines say that there should be clear 10 working days between the date of application and the date of travel. In my case, it is at best 10 days and not 10 working days. Still my company pulls some strings through their headquarters in the country I want to visit and my application gets accepted and I am called in the VFS to submit my documents. The agents there are generally helpful and friendly and they tell me that my documents are in order until one of them (let's call him Agent 1) scans through my application to see whether it’s complete:

Agent 1: Ma'am, are you divorced?

Me: Yes.

Agent 1: Ma'am, have you attached a proof of divorce?

Me: No.

Agent 1: Ma'am, we would need a proof of divorce from you. Are you carrying it?

Me: No. It was not mentioned in the list of documents on your website or by the travel agent my company deals with.

Agent 1: Not an issue ma'am. I will give you my email id, you can mail it to me today. I assume it would be a decree of divorce that you will have.

Me: Sir, I'm sorry, but, I don't understand. Why do you need my decree of divorce? What does it have to do with my travel? I am applying for a business visa. I am travelling for company work on a trip entirely paid for by my company. I am not even mixing it with leisure or tourism. And I have provided you all documents to substantiate that. Where does decree of divorce come into the picture?

Agent 1: Yes, ma'am; but we need a proof of your marital status.

Me: Do you ask for marriage certificates from people who are married?

Agent 1 burst into a laughter and then looks at the serious expression on my face and controls himself.

Me: You think I am being funny?

Agent 1: No ma'am.

Me: So, please answer my question. Do you ask for marriage certificates from people who are married? Or unmarried people for that matter? Do you ask them to prove they are unmarried?

Agent 1: No ma'am.

Me: No. You don't ask for proof of marital status from married or unmarried people then why do you need proof of marital status from me? Right now, I'm single or unmarried. That's it.

Agent 1: Look ma'am, I can understand that you are upset about being asked for a document that is not mentioned in the list. 

Me: Look sir, you need to understand that I am upset about being asked for a document that has got nothing to do with my business trip and moreover that is not asked from other people at all. I do not understand why my case should be treated any differently.

Agent 1 is quiet and looks lost but he still manages an answer: Yes ma'am, but it is standard procedure.

"Standard procedure" again; and by now I am fairly pissed off. But I shut up because I need my Visa to be processed as soon as possible and I didn't want to create any situation that may delay the process. 

A while later, my will power is further tested when another agent (let's call him Agent 2) who was standing right behind Agent 1 was asked to hand over a folder so that Agent 1 who was entering my data in the system could put my papers in it. Agent 2 suddenly glances over my marital status just as Agent 1 was turning the page. He stops Agent 1 and puts his finger on the word divorced.

Agent 2: Ugh, ma'am… Are you divorced? Ma'am we would need a proof of your…

Agent 1, looking a bit embarrassed, immediately stops him by hand and fumbles with a weak "I've already told her and she will mail it to me". I just look at him and don't answer. 

Agent 2: Okay. But please do it today itself because we won't be able to process your application otherwise and I see that you need the Visa as early as possible.

Me (impatiently): Okay. If you need it so urgently, I have a scan in my laptop which I have submitted outside at the baggage counter. I can show it to you right away if it's what you want.

Agent 1: No ma'am, no need. You can mail it to me. I've mentioned my email id here.

Agent 1 (now looking at Agent 2 who was unable to understand why I was so irritated): Ma'am will do it today.

Situation 3

This incident is from a year ago and I had vented part of my frustration after the incident in my blogpost here. The incident happened in my daughter's schools (we had just shifted her to a new one) where the school Registrar insisted on biological father's details in school even if the father has had nothing to do with the child, either socially or financially. She maintained that she is just "following the law" and granting rights to the biological parent. No matter how much I tried to reason, she insisted on stating those details on ID Cards, Report Cards etc. as a permanent reminder to my child that she has a father who doesn't care at all for her. Well, my daughter has overcome that now but let me tell you that it was very frustrating for her initially. More so because they held back her ID card and Almanac until I relented and allowed them in writing to put the name in their records and even "reimbursed" the costs they had incurred on printing the "incorrect ID Cards" (And there were 3 of them including Parents ID Cards). Talk about blackmailing!

Anyway, at that time, they had convinced me – verbally of course because they never give any such commitment in writing – that for all practical purposes I would be the guardian and my details would be used. Then, three months down the line, we received a "Doctor-on-call" card from school which states the person to be contacted and their details in case of any emergency, primarily medical, that the child may be in. The card conveniently carried the father's details there.

Needless to say I was irked and I showed up at the Registrar office with the card.

Me (after explaining the situation): Ma'am, I was promised by you that you will put a remark in my daughter's file that I would be the one who would be referred to in all scenarios as a parent and guardian. What is this all about then?

Registrar (very casually): Relax ma'am! It’s just an oversight.

Me: Oversight? You call this oversight? This card is to be used in a medical emergency. My ex-husband, and I know him better than you, will not react to any such situation you contact him about. Which essentially means that there is no one who will be there if – God forbid – my daughter is in a situation.

Registrar: Ma'am. You are over reacting. We are not responsible for this. We only share details of all students with the outsourced vendor who is the card-issuer and putting the father's name as person to be contacted is just the process they follow. 

Me: Oh really? First, you did not ask my, or for that matter any parent's, consent before sharing my daughter's details with an outsourced vendor. Second, you are making a generalization and define a process whereby only fathers will be contacted in case of emergency. If you are so hell-bent on including both parents' names on the ID card then why not here?

Registrar: Ma'am there is space for only one name on the card.

Me: What? Wow! That baffles me now. You are so particular about "following the law" and then you deny me "equal rights as a guardian" which the SC has allowed me as a mother simply because there’s no space on the card.

Registrar (coolly smiling and thus getting more and more on my nerves): Ma'am, there's nothing of that sort. We respect your rights as a guardian, this is just standard procedure.

Me: Standard procedure?

Registrar: Yes. However, I understand your concern and we attach a lot of importance to that card. So, obviously we would not like the wrong person to be stated on that card. We will take down your request for a new card and we will issue one to you. Please write an application on a plain paper and append that card with it. Then give it to the admin department along with the card charges. That would be Rs. 200/-. Your daughter will get a new card with your details next week.

Although I was boiling with rage here, I shut up because after all it was my daughter's school and I didn't want her to suffer any further. As I patiently wait for the school to put my name instead of my ex-husband's in the fee invoices and receipts as well even after being associated with the school for over a year, I have by now come to terms with the fact that it's nothing but 'standard procedure' and that as long as my office payroll department and the Income Tax Authorities accept them as valid Investment proofs, I should be okay to live with it.

*name changed.

Whoever said marks are 'not important' is wrong!!

The 12th class results are just out. Last few months, there have been campaigns on social media and FMs trying to tell the kids that marks are NOT IMPORTANT. While the intent is clearly to not put pressure on kids and encourage parents to not do the same, it is not exactly true that marks are not important.

The marks are not EVERYTHING, but they still do matter.

It is true that not everybody can come on top and even kids with average marks do well in life most of the time; eventually making successful careers for themselves. There are far too many examples in my life where I have seen average students excel in their careers and make something good and comfortable for themselves. But you cannot deny that having a good academic result saves you a lot of struggle. I'm a live example of the same.

By God's grace, I had a good result in my XII grade. I went to SRCC and completed my CA at the age of 22 years itself. My good academics easily got me through in one of the Big4s. Due to some personal reasons, I had to quit working an year later. After a four year gap if I got a break, that too a fairly decent one, it was only because of my academic background. So whoever tells me that marks really don't decide your career graph, I would like to differ and correct them that they do. What they don't decide is whether you are capable or not of making a career of yourself. Hard work can always compensate for lower marks later in life provided you keep a positive attitude in life.

To me, the issue is all about differentiating between "motivating kids to get good marks" and "pressurising kids to get good marks". But there's a thin line between the two. How you get the point across is what matters.

I belong to a family that believes in carrots more than sticks when it comes to studies. (Well, sometimes sticks are used as well but only in extreme cases.) When I had topped my school about 18 years back, I remember a journalist interviewing me. She asked me basic questions like how I prepared for the exams, how many hours of study did I put in, etc. And I, despite all my excitement, gave very insipid answers. (Maybe that's why they never published my interview). In the end, she asked me, "Did you ever think of committing a suicide?" I was shocked, "Hell, no!" "Did your parents ever tell you that you need to get this much percentage?" "Well, I knew they expected me to do my best. But percentage and marks were never discussed." "What did they say to you?" "They always said that you're on your own when it comes to your further studies and career. We don't have any contacts where we could promise you to get into a college / course or a job. So do your best and leave the rest to God. Good things happen to those who work hard" Now that I look back, I am very proud of my parents for encouraging me and my sisters without creating any daunting pressure on us. I hope when the time comes, I am able to handle the situation with as much maturity.

So, the point that I want to make here is that we need to tell our kids that marks are important but they are not the end of the world. If they are scared, calm them down and tell them, "You do your best and leave the rest to God."

Shouldn't technology use be logical as well?

(Photo courtesy: HT)

Two days a go, I read an article about a 72-year old lady and a 79-year old man becoming parents to a baby boy through the in-vitro fertilisation (IVF-test tube) technique, wherein the eggs and sperm are fertilised outside the womb, in a test tube. There have been other such cases too. In another case in 2006 - a good ten years back - a 70-year old lady had successfully delivered a baby girl through IVF. And in 2008, a 66-year old lady had given birth to triplets - two boys and a girl.

This couple was desperate for a child and this is nothing short of a miracle in the medical world. The doctors must be like God to this couple and one can only imagine their joy at the eventual parenthood. But, despite all, I feel sorry - I feel sorry for the child. It makes no sense at all to have a child and then not be able to give him a normal childhood. 

I am a mother of a 9-year old, and I can give a solid testimony to how much effort and hard work it requires nowadays to raise a normal, active and enterprising child. And no matter how healthy you are, a 70 or 80-year old cannot match the energies of a parent in his or her 30s. You have to run errands like car pools to various activities. You have to use technologies like Google and Wikipedia to help them with studies and school projects. You have keep on your toes for very basic things as teaching your child to cycle or play badminton or even climb a bouncy. I wonder how these poor parents, who would be 80 and 90 year olds by the time the child turns 10 even, keep up.

I feel pity for the child not just because he might lag behind in all these activities that all other children will take up and all children deserve to take up but also because he just might suffer with low self esteem not being able to match up to his peers. I also feel sorry for the child because even before he grows up, he just might end up as the carer for two people in their very advanced age. And nothing could be more devastating that the burden of this responsibility before he evens understands the same.

May God bless this couple with a long life, and let's not even go into the scenario where he might end up as an orphan even before he is mature enough to handle himself. That would be really sad. I hope the child otherwise has good-hearted and helpful relatives very close to him to help him have a normal childhood. God bless little Arman Singh and may all his 'Arman' come true!

Pro-BJP or Anti-BJP: Why should I even choose sides?

I have been thinking this for a while now, more so since last night. We have reached a strange state of politics in India. A state where if you show even a little bit interest in politics, you are forced to take sides. You can either be Pro-BJP or Anti-BJP. You just cannot not choose sides. People on Facebook, twitter and media in general will label you if you yourself don’t choose side. There really isn't a choice you have.

If you praise PM Modi or any of his policies, work, etc. – You are Pro-BJP. If you speak in favour of AAP (or Congress for that matter but I haven’t seen anyone do that in the last one or two years) – You are Anti-BJP. If you express an opinion that ‘India is not intolerant’ – You are Pro-BJP (that is BJP’s stand, remember?) If you support ‘Odd-even Formula’ – You are Anti-BJP (that is an AAP initiative and not BJP’s). Even vice-versa is true. You are a BJP supporter – You must hate all Muslims and oppose allowance of marital rape or of scrapping of Section 377. You are not a BJP supporter – You must agree that there is no freedom of speech in India and must stand by Kanhaiyya Kumar even in his anti-national ranting.

But, why? I have not had any political party allegiance since many ages. In my late teenage and all through my twenties, I was absolutely indifferent towards political parties. It was only during the 2014 elections with the emergence of Mr. Modi on the national scene did my interest divert back to politics. I am very appreciative of his pro-development agenda. Similarly, I do appreciate the awesome work being done by his cabinet members Sushma Swaraj and Suresh Prabhu and I admire the orator-ship and persona of Smriti Irani. But I still am not a supporter of the BJP party or all BJP members despite the fact that I am widely referred to as one or made out to be one on social media. Actually, sometimes, I think in contradictions which might be confusing for others. For example, I cannot stand the hard-line Hindu nationalists and detest people who use any kind of religious connotations to make a point. How dare I do so because I am a Pro-BJP, remember? Didn't I support Modi in the first place. So now it doesn't really matter that I am upset why Mr. Modi doesn't shut these people up.

I prefer to call myself secular and not secular as in pro-Muslims, again the way the word is used in Indian political scenario. I mean secular as in ‘The Free Dictionary’ definition: worldly rather than spiritual; not relating to religion or to a religious body; and having no particular religious affinities. I believe in one supreme power called God and believe Ram, Durga, Allah, Waheguru, Jesus to be just a few of it’s names or forms that may be used to spread messages of love and ethical living. It’s good and easy to have names and stories to get the messages across and they all serve that purpose. But how can I think like that? BJP is not secular and they hurl a saffron flag. Saffron stands for Hindus and hence I must be against Muslims because their colour is not saffron, it is green. How does it matter that green is one of my favourite colours too as it connects me to nature. I am a Pro-BJP and I just cannot be secular. It is contradictory. Also, I must assume that all our government is doing is only for Hindus. How dare I disagree with that and rationally say that all their policies are for the nation and not towards people for any religion, or caste. Nowhere it is mentioned so. But I am appreciative of a few BJP members and their work (which they do for all and not just for Hindus), so it should be assumed that I am Pro-BJP and I will definitely also agree with all the stupid BJP agendas like beef-ban, ‘saffronization of education’ (as it is referred), etc. How can I voice any such disagreement, would I not become Anti-BJP then? And if I do, then I should not any more support Mr. Modi and instead support stupid policy decisions or morons like CM Kejriwal like his “odd-even rule” and “2000 advertisements per day” and “waiver of electricity bills for 1st anniversary of AAP govt.”. That is what a good Anti-BJP person must support; not initiatives like “Swachchh Bharat”, “Beti padhao, beti badhao”, “Make in India”. Uff? Is your head going in circles now? You know what I mean? How confusing it is?

Let us also give a thought to the most popular topic nowadays in light of this debate – the ‘intolerance’ debate. I am Pro-BJP (because I am a Mr. Modi supporter, of course), so I have to say that I believe India to be tolerant. Good enough, I have already said that because honestly, that is exactly what I believe. (For the record, I believe we have just too many examples of people belonging to various religions living together, working together and helping together and just because media chooses to highlight the few instances where they don’t do that, does not make my country as a whole intolerant.) Well, by saying that India is “tolerant”, I have proven my Pro-BJP tag. Now, I should not support likes of Rohit Vemulla and Kanhaiyya Kumar. Well enough. I do not support them. Good. That is exactly what Pro-BJP people should do. After all, these people are Anti-BJP. But hey… That’s not why I do not support them. I do not support them because their actions have been Anti-India and not Anti-BJP. Confused? Let me explain. No matter how tragic and sad Rohit’s suicide is, the fact is that he was a Yakub Memon supporter – the very Yakub Memon who conspired against my country and helped kill many of my fellow citizens. Rohit, and Kanhaiyya Kumar for that matter, were pleading mercy for Yakub or condemning Afzal Guru's hanging, respectively, and shouting slogans about India’s doom. That is why I do not support them. Anyway, whatever my reasons, that still makes me Pro-BJP. Then, as a corollary, I do not support Kanhaiyya Kumar also proves that I do not support ‘Freedom of speech’? Hello! That’s not what I said. Oh c'mon, only Anti-BJP people support ‘Freedom of speech’ and I am Pro-BJP. How can I support ‘Freedom of speech’ and still think people like Kanhaiyya Kumar are a serious waste of space? Because: they perpetually feed on national subsidies, call themselves messiah of the poor, and then enjoy privileges like air travel, iPhones, luxury cars which they have not earned and for which they have not contributed a paisa to the nation, neither in the form of an active employment nor in the form of taxes. I do firmly believe in ‘Freedom of speech’. The fact that anybody – I mean literally anybody: a student union member, journalist, writer, actor, sports-person, entrepreneur – can rise up and speak about “no freedom of speech in India” and “India being intolerant” speaks volumes of how free speech in India is and how tolerant my country is. And I don’t need to be Pro-BJP to say that.

The point that I am really trying to make amid all this confusion is, why do I have to be Pro-BJP or Anti-BJP? Why can I, as an individual, not have an independent opinion about things and issues? Why should I choose sides depending on whether BJP as a party or even a few BJP members individually have or not have the same opinion? Am I not an educated, thinking and rational human being able to analyse any issue for myself and take a stand. I do not need a political party to tell me what is right and what is wrong. More importantly, no political party can ever be all right and all wrong for the simple fact that it is composed of humans, each of which, like myself can choose differently.