Log kya kahenge?

India is country where society is the biggest governing factor – even more that the politics and religion. We often blame our ‘culture’ and ‘religion’ for imposing anything and everything. Intercaste marriages; love marriages; same sex marriages; all of them are questioned. A man or woman deciding to stay single; a couple deciding not to have a child of their own or to adopt one; a girl choosing not get married at what is often described as ‘the appropriate age’ (generally referred to any number between 18 and 25); are always questioned. Single mothers; women working till late hours (often described as career-minded women); girls going out at night (with or without guys) or wearing clothes of their choice; a student opting for a career of his / her own choice; even someone getting a divorce; all face the same question.

“Log kya kahenge? (What will the people say?)”

All of us have for any of the above reasons or even for other basic simple harmless decisions in life have faced this big question sometimes from family members, sometimes from neighbours, sometimes even from strangers who know nothing about who we are and where we are from. Random people on the streets happily pass judgements on you basis how you dress, how you walk; how you talk and simply basis how you choose to be. And everyone is worried about these strangers; worried about what will they say?

Does that surprise me? Surprisingly, not as much as it should. We all have grown up worrying about these people and our lives have become so entwined in this question about what will these people say that we unquestioningly abide by the norms and fences we have created around ourselves supposedly to ensure that we do not give these people the reason to say something at all.

But what does surprise me is that when rapes happen; eve teasing happens; children are abused; women are harassed and tortured; female foeticide is rampantly practised; brides are burned; people openly ask for dowry and even go to the extent of killing women for it; when honour killings happen; when children are forced into labour; when even elite society and middle class educated people force their children to adopt a certain career; when people are discriminated on the basis of castes; when capability and ability is suppressed on pretext or reservations; when there is a lack of even basic sanitation facilities for the public; when people openly fuel corruption at all levels; and when people fail to respect females or even other human beings; then “ye log kyun kuchh nahin kehte? (why these people do not speak up?)”

Why is there no fear of the society for doing something wrong when there is always a fear of the society for doing something right?