I have been born into a family of three sisters and no brother. The next generation till now has two girls and a boy. My family has been worshipping Maa Durga since many generations. Needless to say, Navratras were one of the most awaited festivals and culminating into Ashtami which was celebrated with much happiness.
Our family has been unique when it comes to Ashtami celebration. First, it is only restricted to kids in the family and we do not gather little girls from all over for the puja. Second, just like we treat our girls equal to boys on normal days, we treat our boys equal to girls on Ashtami (Kanya Pujan) days. So, my nephew gets to sit in the puja in the same manner and gets the same gifts and money as my daughter and my niece. Third, the girls sit in the puja irrespective of their age (and after attaining puberty too) well until they get married. Last, we share poori-halwa-chhole prasad with some families in the neighbourhood irrespective of whether the families have young girls or not.
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| Image source: Google search (jagran.com) |
Until much later in my teenage years, this was normal for me and only after I grew up did I realise how different this was from the norm. For us, Ashtami Puja had always been for the "kids of the family" and never for the "girls". By that age, I was already into a phase getting prepped to become a staunch feminist. My first Ashtami Puja at my marital home was a depressor. I had been subjected for 6 months to an ashirwad of giving birth to a son and then on the day of Ashtami, my then MIL had sent my then husband looking for small girls to sit in the puja. My now ex-in-laws were openly and vocally upset about me giving birth to a daughter (and the irony was that she was born during Navratras) and six months later on Ashtami day they suddenly relegated her to the status of Lakshmi of the house and worshipped her. My heart was filled with more contempt that day than on the days they would curse me for not bearing a son.
It hurts me to see that the girls are condemned on everyday and on Ashtami, they are celebrated. Although I still try to celebrate this festival with just as much cheer as I did as a child, but every time in Navratras, these thoughts keep circling around my head. I see happy girls in the neighbourhood and I can make out that they are enjoying being centre of attraction for a change. And then maybe one day when the grow up, they will realise what a sham it all is.
The day Ashtami becomes an irrelevant festival for girls because they start getting valued even on normal days will be the day the feminist in me would smile brighter.
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