Life is beautiful with Kids around!!!

Kids!!! Everyone says that it's the best thing that can happen to someone. For the record, it is not easy to bring up kids. I certainly couldn't have managed without my mother to whom I owe more than I can ever put in words. My 5-year old daughter has an endless source of energy, asks probably 437 questions in a day on an average, perennially tries to get attention by absolutely not allowing us to talk to anyone but her and gets adored by all and sundry even after that. Now that would explain the cause of my mother's headache by the end of the day and also why life's beautiful with her around.

 

This morning, a friend of mine was telling me about a lady whose husband divorced her after a 5-year old marriage and a 3 year old child. She now cribs about how her child has ruined her life because she has no time for any social life and having a child's custody has virtually ruled out her chances of resettling again. I wonder what her heart is made up of. I, for once, cannot ever imagine thinking on those lines. My life is centered on my daughter and she comes first no matter what. It is hard even to imagine my life without her.

 

Kids bring sunshine to your life. It's amazing to see kids marvel and get excited at petty things. I have quoted this earlier and will quote this again – "There are no seven wonders in the eyes of a child. There are seven million." Having a kid is like looking into the future and planning what you want to be again and what you want to make of your life. You know what a house without kids is like? Quiet. It is indeed quiet and there is no fresh life chirping around you. If on any weekend, my daughter's school is open, that is one of the most boring weekends I can have. All during the weekend I act bossy with my daughter, get irritated with her mischievous ways, try and teach her 'how to behave', but two days without her around and I feel like as if there is no motivation in my life; like there is no life.

 

Mothers have a special bond with their kids. They have given birth to the child and that child is a part of her. No matter how much the child grows up, he/she would continue to be a part of their mothers. This is one bond that was built by nature never to be broken. Mothers will forgive their kids for no matter how grievous mistakes. They would love them unconditionally no matter whether the feelings are reciprocated. But then, there is no point describing all this. It is simply sufficient to say she's a mother.

 

I feel blessed to have the sweetest, loveliest and most adorable child in the world. And I think this statement holds good for every mother on this earth.

Rockstar rocks and how

I happened to catch Rockstar yesterday. It was one helluva experience, I must say. Haven't really been able to get it off my head till now. The music keeps ringing in my ears and Ranbir Kapoor's intense look and brisk walk with Journos and Cops in tow keeps floating in front of my eyes.

 

Till date I had been indifferent to Ranbir Kapoor. Although I had never disliked his performances, I had never found them something to go gaga about. (I do admit he was 'good' in Rajneeti). But, with Rockstar I am forced to sit up and take notice. He seethes, cries, pains and barges into the company of amazing 'Actors' and 'Performers'. Jordan is one of the most complicated characters presented on screen in the recent times and Ranbir plays it with élan. I had accorded Hrithik's performance in Guzaarish (Ethan too was a very complicated character to play) a lot of respect and now I would place Ranbir in Rockstar at par if not higher.

 

If Ranbir is the body of Rockstar, the film's music is its soul. It is heart rendering and heart warming both at the same time. A.R. Rahman's genius shines after a long time now and Irshad Kamil's lyrics are very introspective and apt. The songs haunt you for a very long time. Mohit Chauhan's silky voice serenades the entire movie and makes Ranbir's character actually work.

 

Among other artists, Nargis Fakhri is an absolute non-actor with a strange and stiff body language. It is kind of difficult to fathom why there's such a hue-and-cry about her looks. The girl playing the Journo looks and acts better than her anyway. The actor playing Khatana and Shernaz Patel are natural and support well. Shammi Kapoor looks great in unfortunately his last on screen appearance. I also want to add a word of praise for Ranbir's stylist (I guess it's Aki Narula but I am not sure) for the amazing look he has created for Ranbir. A refreshing change from the pre-set characteristic rockstar looks depicted in the past right until "Rock On!" although it's more or less on the same lines.

 

In the end, I want to add a lot more in praise of Rockstar but then… jo bhi main kehna chahoon, barbaad karein alfaz mere…

The first lesson in countering oppression

Oppression, tormentation and mental trauma – these are the atrocities being meted out to women folk since ages. Many women face the harassment at the very places of their existence – at home, at work. The relativity or the degree varies, just as the perception of today's folks. E.g. a newly married bride when restricted to go out per her own will by her husband and in-laws; there could be two kinds of reaction depending on the woman's background. If the bride is an uneducated (or having only basic education and literacy) woman belonging to a society where she has seen her mother and sisters, sister-in-laws being meted out with similar treatment; she is likely to accept it as granted and keep quite. Then again, if the bride is a fairly educated girl from a reasonable background who has grown up in an equal opportunity world / environment; she is likely to term it as suppression and denial of her freedom which she obviously knows is her birth right; which is actually every person's birth right. For one it might be a minor issue which can better be ignored to maintain peace and tranquility at home; while for another it is an incident which should be voiced against at the very outset to make it known to her family that she has an equal place and an equal right to her freedom as any man or, for that matter, woman (say, the mother-in-law) in the house.

Some girls do make a mistake in tackling situations like these (and even much more serious issues leading to domestic discords in the families). I personally feel that if you really feel you are being oppressed or curtailed in any manner, at least speak out once and make your feelings known even if the other family members may agree to disagree with you. Now, I am not here promoting extreme feminism by preaching girls to take up arms against your family or shout back and vent your anger towards the other party. But, "dislikes" can certainly be expressed positively, politely, without shouting back or disgracing your upbringing by using any kind of foul language. Don't we often abstain from doing certain things which people around you (at home, at work, etc.) dislike. Similarly, the first expectation in simple expression of "dislike" towards a certain thing, action or behavior would be an abstention by the other person in subjecting you to what you dislike. Many a problems can be tackled here; for one must understand that just as keeping quite about it is not a solution, neither is shouting your frustration out. Both the scenarios increase the problem in the long run.

In case such things do not yield desired results then other things may be tried. I am not a marriage councilor to tell you extreme measures, but remember every personal battle is important and small battles won initially reduce the possibility of an uncalled-for- oppression.

Climb Every Mountain In Life

By: Sean Swarner

I'm actually the first (and only) cancer survivor to summit the world's highest mountain... Mt. Everest. When I was only 13, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease and given three months to live. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with Askin's Sarcoma. The prognosis was much worse as the doctors gave me only two weeks to live. Again, I survived.

Being the only person in the world to have ever had these two cancers, I really felt I should share my story to help motivate others and influence lives. On May 16th, 2002 at 9:32am, I became the first cancer survivor to summit Mt. Everest.

Since then, I have been lucky enough to reach the summits of three more of the world's seven highest peaks and have spoken internationally about my life and adventures to countless people and organizations. On the summit of Everest I brought a flag adorned with names of people who have been affected by cancer and left it on the top of the world forever commemorating the struggle of cancer patients worldwide.

I did the same to the highest point in Africa, Europe and just recently returned from 23,000-foot Aconcagua in South America! My ultimate goal is to climb the highest mountain on each continent AND trek to the North and South poles.

I am covering the globe with inspiration. There are plans for live chat sessions during the expeditions as well as TV spots and live summit bids from a number of the mountains! The reason for these expeditions is to inspire those affected by cancer (as well as anyone with a pulse!) to dream big and never give up.

Sean Swarner
seanswarner.com
The CancerClimber Association
www.cancerclimber.org
1st Cancer Survivor/Patient to Summit Everest
International Inspirational Speaker
Chief Spokesperson, International Spirit of Life Foundation

RIP Steve Jobs: May your soul find peace while your vision lives on

I am not a fan of Apple products. In fact, I have never used an Apple product till date. Though I would love to buy an iPhone or an iPad some day; may be even an Apple Computer too; but they haven't yet managed to tempt me enough to put them above my other priorities. But, I do admire the Apple Journey – Steve Jobs' Journey.

I do not know anything about his personal life. Never cared to read about it too either. But for me, he was a man who dared to dream big and then worked hard to make that dream a reality. He had a vision and he had the courage to realize the same. He was the one man who revolutionized the way we listen to music today, or work on computers, or even the way we use our phones – or should I rather say what all we can do with our phones. There have been many followers. Some even claim to have surpassed the iPhone or at least have given it a run for its money; but even to this day an iPhone is an iPhone. It's not a phone, it's an iPhone. You know what I mean? It's a class apart.

And of course, there is iCloud. It's a technology we couldn't have imagined 5 years ago. But, five years down the line, it's here. Thanks to Apple. Sorry, thanks to Steve Jobs' Apple. For no matter what, irrespective of how many people take over the executive or managerial responsibilities at Apple, irrespective of how many Tim Cook's succeed the coveted (am I allowed to call it) Throne; Apple will continue to be Steve Jobs' baby. His soul continues to live in Apple.

Steve Jobs was a fighter. Only a true fighter can start from an as humble a beginning and make it as large as Apple today. The fact that obituaries are pouring in from any nook and corner of the world is enough to realize what an impact he made on the lives of people all over. He was an inspiration. He fought his battle with life. After every blow, he would bounce back and stand up in front of the world with his new offering. Not only did the people rave about his products, but also about his strength and determination not to give up. He definitely inspired millions of people who are fighting grave sicknesses or any other sort of problems for that matter. Let's just hope he continues to inspire people long after he has gone.

A friend of mine tweeted a few days back, "‎3 apples changed the world, 1st one seduced Eve, 2nd fell on Newton and the 3rd was offered to the world half bitten by one Steve Jobs..." It's crazily funny, but very aptly true. Steve Jobs' Apple has indeed changed the world.

Thought for the weekend: Motivation

This is a story of two brothers. One was a drug addict and a drunker who frequently beat up his family. The other one was a very successful businessman who was respected in society and had a wonderful family.

 

Some people wanted to find out why two brothers from the same parents, brought up in the same environment, could be so different.

 

The first one was asked, "How come you do what you do? You are a drug addict, a drunk, and you beat your family. What motivates you?" He said, "My father." They asked, "What about your father?" The reply was, "My father was a drug addict, a drunk and he beat his family. What do you expect me to be? That is what I am."

 

They went to the brother who was doing everything right and asked him the same question. "How come you are doing everything right? What is your source of motivation?" And guess what he said? "My father. When I was a little boy, I used to see my dad drunk and doing all the wrong things. I made up my mind that that is not what I wanted to be."

 

We are all Motivated – Either Positively or Negatively

 

Both were deriving their strength and motivation from the same source, but one was using it positively and the other negatively.

Negative motivation brings the desire to take the easier way which ends up being the tougher way.

A Tribute to all the people who used me for their ulterior motives

I surely am not the only one to go through this. Most people are sometimes or the other used by others for their ulterior motive. So was I.

 

I have been thinking off late that how could I not see it then? Or, maybe I could, at least in some cases, but did not accept it and did not admit it then. But, now when I look back, some of it looks all too obvious.

 

My best friend in school; with whom I stayed glued for almost seven years. She basked in all the glory of being the closest accomplice to a good student (at the risk of being immodest, I was actually one of the top rankers often addressed by the teachers in common terminology as a "good student"). I was exempted from classes on and off to participate in and practice for debates, extempore, quizzes, school magazine editorials and also assist the teachers in art work for various events. She was by default excused on pretext of helping me with stuff. Every teacher and student who knew me would also know her and she used that quite to her advantage. But, as we moved out of school, she severed all ties with me. I tried to keep in touch but to no avail. I have gone through major ups and downs in life thereafter but she wasn't there to share the pain. Instead, I found a very dear friend in another girl who was also close to this old school friend of mine; and my new friend (should I be calling her new when I knew her for just as long although we were not so close in school?) has stuck on with me through thick and thin. I lost my childhood friend but gained an understanding that "A friend in need is a friend indeed".

 

Then there was this person, whom I entrusted my life and my future. What did I not do for him? I confided in him and bore open my soul. I gave up every ambition, every dream, every friend, and every relation for him. I would help him in everyday things and also in his work. He would tell me that we would have a very good life soon once his current pursuits bear fruit and I believed him. I was cursed to a life I hated but took it with grace because I had adopted his dreams for myself. Somewhere deep down I knew I was being used, but I had trust in the relationship and I had hoped all would be well soon and once the struggles are over, we would have a much better life. I hoped he would realize my worth one day. However, that day was never to come. He cheated on me and treated me like dirt. When I stood by my principles, I was asked to leave. I did leave, never to turn back and look. I lost love but gained wisdom that one should not change oneself in "love" so much as to loose one's identity; and remember that if the other person really loves you, he/she would accept you for what you are.

 

I was lucky to get my life back on track after the disaster of a failed relationship and a break in a booming career, thanks to the education and backing my parents have provided me with. I feel blessed to have a good respectable profession and be in a comfortable situation to fulfill my responsibilities. I truly believe that God has granted me these blessings because I have never knowingly done any wrong to anyone. I try and continue to do so no matter my past experiences in the hope that the Lord Almighty would continue to shower me with his blessings. I meet many people on a day-to-day basis and try my best to help them in any way I can. There was this girl, over-enthusiastic, euphoric for no reason and filled with all the romance a teenage girl well-protected from the evils of a professional organization can imbibe (though she was well in her late twenties). Not being used to the corporate culture, she felt hurt when asked to conform to the dictates of the organization structure and reporting lines. Fortunately or unfortunately, I happened to be her line manager for a while. Although I might have been strict at times, but, I did my best to guide her whenever required; correct her when she committed mistakes; shielded her when she couldn't meet her expectations; and rescued her when she was being made a perfect corporate scapegoat. Eventually, she did manage to achieve a role transfer she had been trying for since over a year. I even helped her in transition, taking over tasks which she was required to accomplish as part of the handover so that she is relieved easily. But, what did I get in return? She spread lies about me among some of my good friends leading to the breaking of some healthy friendships. I lost the goodwill of a friend but I gained an understanding of the length to which a person would go to achieve his/her own motives and appear innocent and genuine.

 

Last but certainly not least, there was this guy, my peer at work, who was going through a personal and professional hell. He found a good friend in me when he was going through the toughest time of his life. He would seek advice from me on personal matters; would ask for my honest opinion on the happenings in his life; would discuss his next course of action; would seek my view on the worst case scenarios; would vent his anger and disappointment at any minor occurrence; and would in general tell me every now and then how much he trusted me and valued me as a "true" friend. And then, the "true" friend suddenly became "a liar with double standards" as soon as a third party spread a few lies and baseless rumours about me. All the trust suddenly vanished and he did not even have the courtesy to explain to me what happened and what the issues for differences were. I tried to talk and sort it out but he did not even afford me a decent chance to do so because one person whom he earlier described as "immature", "lacking own judgment or opinion", "brainless and prude" suddenly became a forlorn younger sister he never had and my friendship was easily forgotten. I was hurt because this time I did not see this coming and I still do not completely understand what transpired, but, I still continue to be gracious in any conversation / interaction with him and the person I attribute his attitude change to. I lost a confidant but I gained wisdom that there is only so much that you can do and that sometimes it's better to realize the worth of the person you are being good to before even being nice to him/her.

 

I learnt my lessons each time I was used by someone for his/her ulterior motives. So, I do not regret these people coming into my life and being a part of it. If at all, I have become wiser as a person, more mature in my conduct to people, more choosy in befriending people and hopefully more enlightened as to the people worthy of being nice to. I do not regret my past; I only choose to be more careful in future. And this is my Tribute to the People who brought this positive change in me.